Some Things Run Too Deep
by Joywriter
Summary: Voldemort spares Lily. A story of the reconciliation of Lily and Snape and the eventual downfall of Voldemort. Rated for sexual themes and violence.
1. Chapter 1 – October 31, 1981

CONTAINS BOOK 7 SPOILERS

Instead of killing Lily, Voldemort pushes her out the way and spares her, just as Snape asked. Unfortunately, Harry does not survive (I know, how cruel can I be?), but Lily reunites with her estranged school friend, Severus Snape, to bring Voldemort down.

Snape and Lily are estranged, due to the _Snape's Worst Memory_ chapter in OOTP.

The purpose of this story is to explore reconciliation between Lily and Snape. I really love who Snape is when he is with her. She brings out something wonderful in him.

I also want to point out that despite the fact that I've totally eliminated Harry from the story, I do want to stay as true to canon as possible, as long as what I want to achieve doesn't interfere too much.

This story isn't just the result of some crazed high I got from reading Deathly Hallows, but the information it contained will certainly make this story more believable and a more accurate reflection of their canon relationship. I was part of the JKR webchat on July 30th and she even said that had Snape given up the Dark Arts, it is quite probable that Lily would have come to love him romantically.

Some Things Run Too Deep

**Chapter 1 – October 31, 1981**

Snape paced the stone floor of Dumbledore's office. The sweat began to line his brow, his palms were moist, and his heart was a relentless hum beneath his ribs. Dumbledore had summoned him from a restless sleep to wait his return. From where, Snape did not know for certain. Dumbledore didn't elaborate in his message, but he had a terrible sinking feeling that it would not be good news. Fawkes was perched nearby, blissfully unaware of the torrent of hope and fear that surged through him simultaneously. An old clock ticked nearby. Nearly eleven. Seconds seemed like days.

His mind raced with thoughts. Surely Lily was okay. Surely Voldemort would consider his request, though, of course, not for the reason he had given. But then maybe something had gone wrong, Voldemort had lost his temper, and murdered them all.

_No,_ Snape thought. _No, I won't believe it. I can't think it. _

Willing himself to block those horrible visions and the sick, poison emotions they elicited, he closed his eyes and buried them deep in his mind.

Suddenly, the heavy office door swung open and in strode Dumbledore, his expression grave, the deep lines in his face set with forced stoicism.

Dumbledore did not meet Snape's unwavering gaze. He said nothing as he entered and sat down in the high-backed chair behind his desk. Snape's eyes never left him. A hot nauseating wave was quickly forming in his stomach, for every moment of silence seemed to confirm the worst.

Dumbledore waved his hand to the chair in front of the desk, indicating that Snape should take a seat. He complied.

'Well, Dumbledore, what is it? Why have you called me here?' His voice shook with every word.

Dumbledore sighed deeply. He massaged his temples with his fingers. 'Voldemort has attacked the Potters.'

Snape's entire body trembled. 'What happened?" he demanded, not sure he really wanted the truth.

Dumbledore paused. This infuriated Snape. 'Tell me! Is she okay?'

'Yes,' said Dumbledore. 'She's alive. But…'

'But what?'

'She's been brought here to Madam Pomfrey, who has extensive knowledge with healing injuries of such a caliber, and she's safer here than at St Mungo's.'

'She's hurt?' Snape bolted up from his seat and headed for the door.

'I'm not finished,' said Dumbledore calmly.

Snape stopped, but did not turn around.

'Lily is unconscious at the moment, which is to her benefit, for when she wakes up, she will have to return to her grim reality. Let her rest, Severus, and sit back down.'

Snape obliged, grudgingly.

'Have you no interest in the fate of her husband and son?' he asked gently.

Snape said nothing, although he was certainly less inclined to care about them than the woman he loved who was lying in the hospital wing, apparently injured.

'Her husband and child did not make it,' Dumbledore said flatly, his eyes bearing into Snape's as though searching for his reaction.

Snape merely nodded in acknowledgement. James, as far as Snape was concerned, had been a thorn in his side for far too long, and at last he was rid of him. As for the child – Harry, Snape believed was his name – well, anything that was part of James couldn't be good. But he arrested that thought, knowing that Lily would be devastated when she returned to consciousness, and Lily's grief would surely be his as well, in all aspects except where James was concerned.

Having been so absorbed in the silence and in his own thoughts, Snape jumped as Dumbledore spoke again.

'I can probably guess – with a high degree of accuracy, I might add – what you're thinking, if what you said to me that night on the hill still holds true.'

Snape ignored this statement. He hated how Dumbledore could be so perceptive, and how Occlumency was no match for his intrinsic understanding of human emotion.

'May I offer a suggestion?' said Dumbledore.

'Of course,' said Snape.

'I take it you are both still not on speaking terms.'

'You'd be right in your assumption,' said Snape, clearly in pain at having to admit it.

Dumbledore nodded slightly. 'If you really love her, Severus, put her feelings and needs first. She needs time.'

Snape sighed, more from relief than anything else. 'Of course.'

'You may go, but we will need to speak again soon. Voldemort will rise to even greater heights of power now that be believes he has eliminated the threat outlined in the prophecy. However, his knowledge of the contents of the prophecy is woefully incomplete, but based on what happened tonight, it is null and void. If the prophecy were real, the child would still be alive.' Dumbledore paused, wondering whether to go any further into the matter. 'Are you free tomorrow evening at nine?'

'I can be,' said Snape. 'But if the child was supposed to live, who then, is the real threat?'

Dumbledore smiled. 'Surely you can figure that out. You may be young, but you are far from dim-witted.'

Snape thought for a moment. Dumbledore's blue eyes, though gentle in appearance, heeded an unnervingly sharp stare.

Realization finally dawned on him, and Dumbledore smiled as the shock registered on Snape's face.

'Lily,' he whispered.

'Yes,' he confirmed. 'Lily. A mother who has lost her only child. Nothing can compare to such a love, or such a loss. While I know that only your death will prevent you from approaching Lily again, I must ask you to approach her with caution. Don't give her a reason to dislike you. Try to mend your friendship. In the end, she will need you. It is my hope that she will come to this conclusion on her own.'

'Why will she _need_ me?'

'That is a topic reserved for tomorrow night's meeting.'

Snape nodded and didn't push the matter.

'I have one final request,' Snape said.

'Which is?'

'Please don't tell Lily that it was I who delivered the prophecy to Voldemort.'

Dumbledore was silent for a moment. 'If you insist… But do _you_ ever intend to tell her, Severus?'

'Is truth always preferable to a lie?' Snape asked.

'Generally.'

'So there must be exceptions.'

'Lily is an amazing young woman,' Dumbledore said. 'This is obvious to me in her loving and forgiving nature even more so than her magical talents. And she has brought out something in you, which, I will admit, I never believed possible. She deserves the truth in the end. And if your love for her is as deep as you claim, and if she can see that, then yes, I believe your relationship will survive, and ultimately be strengthened by your confession.'

Snape said nothing.

'You may go, Severus. Good night.'

With Dumbledore's dismissal, he left the office and decided he needed some fresh air to clear his head. His mind was reeling. He and Lily hadn't spoken in six years simply because he had accidentally let that vile word slip past his lips in a moment of cruel humiliation. How on earth would she ever forgive him for being the fuel that caused the death of James and Harry?

A thin sliver of silver moon hung low in the sky just above the trees of the Forbidden Forest. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves, but did little to slow his racing thoughts.

He strolled the grounds for a good half hour. He ended up on the castle's far side, his eyes immediately drawn to the yellow squares of light coming from the hospital wing.

His heart leapt. Lily was alive. And she was closer now than she had been since they finished school four years earlier. He couldn't wait. He needed to get to the hospital wing.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he paid no heed to the actual path to the hospital wing. His feet – and his heart – knew where to go.


	2. Chapter 2 – The Healer Within

**Chapter 2 – The Healer Within**

It took all his powers of persuasion, but finally Madam Pomfrey allowed him in to see Lily. He was tired, but he needed this more than sleep. Like some sort of medicinal infusion, seeing her again after so long did his heart wonders, but seeing her lying there, like a beautiful flower that had been broken and cast aside, made his very soul ache.

He conjured a chair and sat at her side. Her eyes were closed, her chest gently rose and fell in a steady, soothing rhythm. The sound was like music to his ears. Her fiery red hair was fanned out a bit beneath her head. He wanted to reach out and touch the raw, angry, deep gash on her right cheek. She had several on her arms, and he could only imagine where else she had sustained injury. Voldemort must have tortured her, he thought bitterly. He was never satisfied to just leave well enough alone. No, he had to leave his malevolent mark on everything. A hot acid flame erupted within Snape, and he hated Voldemort more now than ever.

He leaned forwards to examine the wounds on her arms, and at once, he recognized them. These were Sectumsempra wounds, and could not be healed by dittany and time alone. He was both filled with anger that a spell of his own creation had caused these wounds, but was also excited that he alone knew the counter-curse and could undo most of the damage.

Glancing around the room, which housed no other patrons, he cast the Muffliato spell at the matron's office door. He hovered over Lily, pointing his wand at one of the cuts. He began to knit the wounds together, using an incantation that needed to be sung and hummed rather than spoken. The Sectumsempra spell was fueled by anger and hatred – that is how he had designed it – and produced the most damage when performed under those conditions. Voldemort's anger must have been strong, because usually only three or four passes with the wand would knit the wound, but he was now on his eighth pass over the first gash, and it had only just begun to close.

Finally, the wound had been closed and was no longer raw. Snape gently rolled back the bottom of her hospital gown, and to his horror, he discovered that her legs were covered in gashes as well. He replaced the hem of her gown and started on the second wound on her arm, this time unable to control his tears as he hummed. To his amazement, this wound healed over with only half as many passes of the wand. The heart of the counter-curse was love, he had known that since he created it, and just as with the curse itself, the stronger the emotion, the more effective the spell.

He went about healing her arms, and as he was just finishing up on the gash on her cheek, Madam Pomfrey emerged from her office.

'What are you doing, Professor?' she demanded harshly. But before Snape could answer, she stopped and looked from Lily's arms to Snape and back again, her expression registering equal shock and wonder. 'What – how – how are you doing that? Those wounds aren't curable, at least not with anything I've tried. How are you doing that?'

'Something I picked up along my travels,' Snape replied evasively. Snape resumed the healing. Madam Pomfrey watched in fascination, keeping quiet as he worked.

'That's extraordinary,' she said once he had stopped humming.

'I'm glad you approve,' said Snape. 'I know a potion I can brew before the morning that will eliminate scarring if applied regularly.'

'Yes, by all means, Professor,' said Madam Pomfrey gratefully. 'I'm sure Mrs. Potter will be forever grateful.'

Snape smiled weakly. Mrs. Potter. It was hard for him to see her as 'Mrs. Potter'. To him, she would always be Lily Evans.

'Poor girl,' she said, seemingly talking more to herself than to Snape. 'Lost everything, you know. Husband and son. I've given her a potion to ease her into a deep and dreamless sleep. She'll need her senses when she wakes up.'

Snape wasn't listening. His eyes were fixed on Lily. She had begun to stir in her sleep, and for a moment, he thought she might wake up.

'You should probably fix the rest of those wounds. She'll be out until at least this time tomorrow night.'

Snape nodded without looking away from Lily. Once again, he rolled back her hospital gown and left it just above her knees and began humming the incantation over a particularly deep slash, focusing on his love for her and willing himself to cry silently to strengthen the spell. Madam Pomfrey went about changing the sheets on the beds that had been recently vacated before retiring back to her office, and, coupled with the fact he had his back to her, she hadn't noticed his tears.

Emotionally drained by the end of the healing, Snape pocketed his want and sat down in the chair again. His eyes stung from a combination of having cried so much and the fact that it was closing in on two in the morning. He couldn't stay here all night, as much as he wanted to. He had classes to teach in the morning and a Lavendulus Potion to brew before then.

He stood up, torn between leaving and staying, between kissing her forehead before he left and foregoing it altogether. He remained still, frozen by ambivalence, until at last he compromised and simply took her limp hand in his and held it for a moment before placing it gently back on the sheets.


	3. Chapter 3 – Incantations of the Immortal

**Chapter 3 –** **Incantations of the Immortal**

Nine o'clock that evening found Snape in Dumbledore's study, sitting in a plum cushioned chair in front of the large desk. A dozen or so of Dumbledore's trinkets whirred and clicked merrily on a nearby stand. Fawkes let out a low cry.

However, Dumbledore was absent from his study when Snape arrived. He arrived a few minutes later, looking rather cheerful.

'Ah, Severus,' he said upon entering. Dumbledore had a sly grin on his face, much as would a schoolboy who knew a delicious secret. He took his place behind the desk.

'I'm sorry I'm late. I've been engaged in a most interesting conversation with Madam Pomfrey.'

'Is that so?' said Snape airily.

'Yes,' he said. 'She told me about your late night visit, and that you are a rather gifted healer.'

Snape said nothing, and there was silence for a moment.

'She told me you healed Lily's wounds, and I must say, I saw her before and after, and I must ask, Severus, how did you heal her?'

'Dumbledore, I'd really rather not –'

'But I think you should, Severus,' Dumbledore cut across him. 'Poppy said you were very secretive about your methods, but she described the spell you used, and it did not ring the bells of familiarly. I am most curious, Severus. How did you know how to mend her injuries?'

Snape considered Dumbledore in the silence. He really did not want to tell him that he had experimented with the Dark Arts as a student to a degree that had yielded such a destructive creation.

Dumbledore must have noticed Snape's deep look of unease. 'There is probably very little that you could tell me that would come as genuine surprise. Please, indulge an old man.'

Snape sighed and conceded, but in his shame, he did not meet Dumbledore's gaze as he spoke. 'Very well. I recognized her wounds because they were made by a curse that I invented as a student. A curse that is fed by hate and anger to destroy, but not necessarily to kill. I showed it to Voldemort, which I realize was a grave mistake. After I had seen the kind of damage he could do with it, I developed the counter-curse. It took a long time to fine tune it, and that's how I healed Lily. It's a kind of mantra that is fed by love and positive emotion that undoes most of the damage.'

Only after finishing did he look at Dumbledore, whose blue eyes were brimmed with tears.

'I must say, you never cease to amaze me.'

Snape shook his head. 'I'm not proud of what I've done. It was my duty to heal her, not only because it was my spell that hurt her, but because it's my fault she's even in this situation. It's my fault he – he tortured her.'

'Severus, we've had this discussion before. It's all about choices. You chose to join Voldemort, but you've also chosen to be part of the resistance. You chose to relay the prophecy to Voldemort, but you chose to come to me so I could warn the Potters and give them a chance at surviving. Just like you chose to create that spell, but you chose to find a way to undo the damage. There will always be pain, and wrong choices and their consequences are part of life. But even then, we can choose to learn from them and help to reverse the damage we have done. It's not something I mean to harp on, but sometimes you seem to need a friendly reminder. You are too hard on yourself, Severus.'

'I'm sure that you didn't call this meeting to discuss my self-loathing,' said Snape through tight lips.

'No, not entirely,' said Dumbledore. 'But I do want to discuss a mission I have for you.'

Snape sat up, a slight crease appearing between his eyes as he stared at Dumbledore. 'A mission?'

'Yes,' said Dumbledore. 'Based on some of the things you've told me, and information I've gathered from various sources throughout the years, I believe I now understand why Voldemort has become less human in recent years.'

Snape was listening with rapt attention. 'You have?'

'Yes,' said Dumbledore gravely. 'I've been praying that I am wrong, but I just can't deny it anymore. Too much points to it.'

'What does? Points to what?' asked Snape.

'Voldemort, as you have probably already gathered, is terrified of his mortality. If my theories are correct – and I believe they are – he has taken appalling measures to ensure he remains alive, to avoid his inevitable confrontation with death for as long as he can.'

'How?' asked Snape.

'Are you familiar with the concept of the Horcrux?' asked Dumbledore.

Snape thought for a moment. He was sure he had heard the term before, he just couldn't remember where, and he certainly did not know what it meant.

'No,' he replied.

Dumbledore nodded grimly.

'Why? Is it?'

Dumbledore stood up and walked to a nearby bookcase that was lined with several volumes of old books. Snape watched as he waved his hand and the shelf flipped forwards to reveal a hidden shelf, on which rested several books whose leather had cracked. Dumbledore pulled one off the shelf, and rearranged them so the original shelf was back on display.

'What I am about to do goes against everything I believe. But you need certain information if you – we – are to be successful in our mission. I only ask one favour, well three small favours, actually. That these books never leave this room. Any reading is to be done here. That you not repeat a single word to anyone about what you read. And that you do not attempt to perform any of the magic you discover within these pages under any circumstances. I do have you word, Severus?'

Snape gazed into Dumbledore's grave face. He could hardly believe that what he was about to learn could be as bad as to warrant such a set of conditions. Nevertheless, he nodded.

'Yes.'

Tentatively, Dumbledore handed the book to Snape. The cover was brittle and lined with age. The book's title, which must have once been cast in bold silver letters, was badly faded.

_'Incantations of the Immortal,'_ Snape said aloud.

'Yes, dreadful book,' said Dumbledore, as though he had a bitter taste in his mouth.

Snape had still not opened it. He merely stared at it, wondering whether he really wanted to know what its pages contained.

'I must apologize in advance for this, Severus. I am truly sorry that you must be subjected to this, but to begin, I would like you to read the chapter titled _The Horcrux Process_. That should give you a fairly firm understanding of the scope of what we are dealing with.'

Snape tore his eyes from the book's cover. 'You want me to read it now?'

'Yes.'

Snape gazed uncertainly at the book. He opened it to the contents page, found the chapter title he was looking for, and flipped to the appropriate page. Dumbledore resumed his place at his desk, pulled out a sheaf of parchment, dipped his quill into the ink and set to writing. Snape began to read:

_Another less popular and much more painful way of cheating death is to create a Horcrux. To review the term, a Horcrux is an object in which a torn part of a person's soul is concealed. While the first body (i.e. the one in which you are born) will die using this method, as long as a portion of the soul remains earthbound, the person cannot die. Through a ritual called Rebirthing, the person can regenerate a physical body containing that piece of soul. _

_The Horcrux method was not widely used until the year 376, when Cassius Horcrucius discovered the manner in which to extract the portion of the soul without dying in the process. The method was repeated by those who flocked to him in search of extended life, if not immortality. Naturally, the term Horcrux is a derivative of Cassius's surname in honour of his discoveries and work surrounding what was believed to be an impossible branch of magic._

_Eventually, in 385, he was murdered in his sleep. However, his group of faithful followers knew of his Horcrux, and by reading through his research on Rebirthing (which, at the time, was entirely theoretical), he was brought back to life as a human adult. However, he was reborn into a body that lacked eyes and reproductive organs (both internal and external), his skin lacked tactile sense, he could not taste or smell, and he died within a month from a weak heart. _

_But this failure was not enough to deter his followers from perfecting the deeply flawed method. Those who had created Horcruxes were murdered and subject to experimentation. Finally, after nearly two centuries of refinement, the method was perfected and does not vary from the method used today. _

_The Horcrux Process_

_Three things are needed to create a Horcrux_

_1 – to commit the supreme act of evil. Murder using the Avada Kedavra is most widely used. This act, when performed under conditions of hatred and malice, rips the soul. _

_2 – the incantation (see page 325) that will remove the torn portion from the body. It is this step in the process that is the most dangerous and is excruciatingly painful. But to the wizard on the path to immortality, it is necessary. Most often, the soul fragment is either extracted from the eyes (often causing permanently reptile-like alterations to the eyes regarding shape and colour), the mouth (causing vocal damage, such as permanent rasping), or through a hole seared into the skin above the heart (causing a wide variety of effects to the skin). No one course seems to prove more effective than another. _

_3 – the soul must be transferred to the object relatively soon after removal from the body. Having your object close by for immediate transferal is ideal. The spell for concealment can be found on page 325._

_Often, wizards choose to give additional magical protection to their Horcrux, ensuring against destruction such as fire, theft, and tampering. _

Snape closed the book abruptly. He didn't want to read another word. He was horrified by what he had read. Horrified that magic could really be this dark, and horrified by where he was sure Dumbledore was going with this.

'Where did you get this?' Snape asked.

Dumbledore looked up from his writing. 'That book along with all the others' – he indicated the concealed bookshelf – 'used to be here in the school library. Once a long time ago, I caught Tom Riddle with the one you are holding now. I confiscated it, along with all the others. But the damage had been done.'

'Tom Riddle?' Snape asked.

Dumbledore nodded. 'Surely you didn't think Lord Voldemort had been born with such an egoistic name? I don't know how astute your grasp of French is, Severus, but even his chosen name reflects his life's motivation – Vol-de-mort. _Flight-from-Death_, or _Flight-of-Death_. He was born Tom Marvolo Riddle.'

Snape sat in shock. 'So you believe that the Dark Lord has created a Horcrux?'

'Yes, that is my theory. Based on the physical side effects of soul extraction described in that book and the transformation Voldemort has undergone since his days as a student, do you agree that the theory has some merit?'

Snape saw Voldemort in his mind's eye. The thin, narrow slits of pupils, the red iris, the permanently bloodshot sclera, the rasping voice, like death itself – a Dementor, even, and his blurred wax-like burnt skin.

'Yes,' Snape finally replied.

'If that's not bad enough,' Dumbledore said, 'given the degree of Voldemort's physical changes, I believe that there may be more than one Horcrux.'

Snape felt a hot ball of disgust forming in the pit of his stomach. 'More than one?'

Dumbledore nodded solemnly. 'So, based on this information, I can assume you have begun to piece together what this mission will involve that I am going to assign to you.'

Snape's eyes seemed to slide in and out of focus. What he had just read made his creation of Sectumsempra seem like harmless play. 'Something involving determining how many Horcruxes and where they might be.'

'You are a brilliant man, Severus. Do you think you can do it?'

'Do you think I can?' Snape asked. For the first time, he wasn't sure if he would be able to see to completion a task set before him.

'Of course I do. You have the Dark Mark, which will actually be to your advantage, for a change. You are still young enough to not be so permanently damaged by what you have experienced. You have amazing deduction abilities and common sense, and based on your recent acts that revolve around your love for Lily, you have a weapon that Voldemort has never – and will never – possess. Yes, I believe wholeheartedly that you can do this.'

Snape sat in silence for a moment, contemplating the mass of information he had just been given to assimilate. 'I thought you were going to tell me how Lily and her "needing me in the end" fits into all this.'

Dumbledore smiled. 'How do you think Lily is going to feel when she wakes up and remembers what has happened?'

'She'll want revenge,' said Snape.

'Exactly. Her love for her son and husband will compel her – blind her, even – to hunt him down. While she is highly gifted, her emotions may get in the way and override her reasoning. She will need you to keep her grounded and comforted, at the very least, and she needs to know that you and I are doing everything we can to destroy him once and for all. For her loss and for all the damage he has caused during his reign of terror.'

'Why me?' said Snape.

'I can't just stroll into a Death Eater rally and hope Voldemort won't notice,' said Dumbledore. 'But I know Tom. He likes to boast about his achievements. If he really has created more than one Horcrux he's the first in wizard history to have done so, and I'll bet the Sorting Hat that he has dropped hints about it. However, without the proper knowledge in which to interpret his words, there is no context, and most of it will fly over the others' heads. But you are aware now. And you need to keep your eyes and ears open.'

Snape nodded. He rubbed his left arm through the sleeve of his cloak. Dumbledore noticed and smiled. 'Only when he is really gone can you and everyone else enslaved by Voldemort be free. If nothing else, isn't that worth fighting for?'

Snape wasn't sure how to answer. In joining the Death Eaters in the first place, he thought he was free. Above wizarding law, above the limits of someone else's idea of 'appropriate magic'.

He looked directly at Dumbledore. 'But what is Lily's part? I really hope you don't intend her to be part of this mission.'

'Of course not, not in the way that you and I will be. But I have an idea and I will discuss it with her in due course.'

'What it is?'

Dumbledore smiled. 'Patience is a virtue, Severus. Surely as our Potions master you have come to appreciate the quality.'

Snape shook his head slightly. The old man could be so cryptic at times, and it was maddening.

'Speaking of potions, I am also told you brewed the Lavendulus Potion for Madam Pomfrey before retiring in the early hours of this morning.'

Snape nodded.

Dumbledore smiled and resumed his writing. 'I think you should get some rest, Severus.'

Understanding himself dismissed, he placed the old book he was holding on Dumbledore's desk and left the office.

Even though his bed was calling him from the dungeons, he had no idea how he was going to sleep with so many dark thoughts and twisted concepts slithering through every corner of his mind.

He buried them as best he could for the time being and settled his thoughts on the sleeping beauty in the hospital wing. He found himself smiling as he settled into bed and was asleep within minutes.

**NOTE:** I know that 'Vol-de-mort' can also be translated 'theft of/from death' but I don't think he wants to 'steal' death but rather escape it, hence the 'flight' interpretation.


	4. Chapter 4 – The Light Before The Dark

**Chapter 4 – The Light Before The Dark**

The weekend came, bringing with it a beautiful autumn morning. Instead of marking the papers that had begun to teeter precariously on the corner of his desk, Snape strolled alone near the Forest, contemplating all he had learned from Dumbledore a few days earlier. The breeze blew gently, causing his hair to dance weightlessly about his face.

There were several students on the grounds that day, though none paid him much mind. He kept as far from the random clusters of students as he could manage.

He had been back to visit Lily in the hospital. Though she had woken up from the sleep potion administered by Madam Pomfrey, he did not go back during the day. Only when she had fallen asleep for the night had he returned, only briefly, in case she sensed him there and woke up. As he had specified, Madam Pomfrey had been applying the Lavendulus Potion to her scars five times daily, and the scarring had been reduced significantly.

Of that he was grateful. Not that such marks could ever deter him from loving her or alter her innate beauty, but the fact that Voldemort's marks could be erased had a powerful pull over him.

He peered up at the hospital wing's windows from his spot on the lawn. He wondered if she was awake yet. He wondered if she knew what had happened and why she was there, if she had begun asking questions to Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore and if they had offered her any answers.

His heart quickened pace as he thought of going up to visit her. How would she react to seeing him? What would he say after all this time? If she turned away from him like she had on their fifth year, how could he cope with still being hated by her for something he sincerely regretted?

He wrestled with himself and his conflicting emotions for several minutes, but in the end, his desire to see her and speak to her overpowered anything in opposition to it.

Resolutely, he stepped into the cool shade of the castle and set off to the hospital wing.

--

He didn't hurry as he walked. Given the nice weather, the halls were virtually deserted, causing his footsteps to echo off the stone walls. After several minutes of walking up staircases, around corners, and down long empty corridors, the large hospital wing doors came into view.

His body reacted immediately to the possibilities that were found only steps away. A reunion, of sorts, that he had been wanting for so long. He felt suddenly warm and absently fumbled with the collar of his cloak. His cheeks were flushed, and he realized, for the first time, that he was nervous.

He pushed open the large doors, surveying the scene. A first year was lying asleep in a bed in a far corner. Snape recognized him as the boy who had fallen off his broom during his first flying lesson. His arm was in a sling. Madam Pomfrey was tending to him, and Snape's gaze immediately swiveled to Lily, who was lying beneath a beam of autumn sunlight with her eyes closed.

Pomfrey looked up from her duties and smiled at Snape.

'Good morning, Professor,' she said quietly as not to wake the small boy.

'Good morning,' he replied.

Snape did not move, and observed Lily from a distance. Madam Pomfrey finished up what she was doing and returned to her office. Snape followed her.

'How is she coping?' Snape asked.

'She's doing better,' she said solemnly, as she replaced some bottles on a shelf and washed her hands. 'In terrible pain, though. Complains of headaches. And even though her lacerations have healed almost completely, she still says they burn.'

Snape nodded. _Of course they still burn_, he thought bitterly, hating himself for giving Voldemort knowledge of the spell. 'Has she mentioned anything about…?' Snape's voice trailed off.

'Not to me,' she said, knowing exactly what he meant. 'She only complains about the pain and then falls back asleep. Dumbledore has spoken with her only briefly, but I think the topic was still about the pain.'

Snape nodded.

'I don't think she's asleep now. I think she's just resting. You can try and talk to her, but I must advise you not to lead her into the subject of her family,' Madam Pomfrey cautioned.

'Of course,' said Snape, who had no intention of causing her unwarranted grief.

He left the office and made his way to Lily' bedside. The chair he had conjured earlier that week was still there, and he sat down. She appeared well rested, and he couldn't help but notice how she glowed in the sunlight. Her red hair sparkled like red fire flecked with streams of gold. He smiled in spite of himself.

Snape sat in the chair for nearly an hour, losing himself in the sweeter memories they had shared as children and teenagers. He doubted she had ever known the depth to which his feelings flowed for her. He remembered how his happiest moments had been spent in her presence, simply talking about anything and everything. He remembered being at her house in the summer between their third and fourth year, which had been by far the best week of his life. Her laughter was like a balm to his otherwise bleak existence.

He sat there and wondered if she would ever laugh like that again when she woke up and realized what had happened to her.

He closed his eyes and lowered his head. Before long, his train of thought was interrupted by the sound of his name struggling to escape her lips.

'Severus,' she breathed. It seemed to take every ounce of her strength to speak.

His head shot up and his eyes flew open. She stared back at him through squinted eyes. He leaned forward, poised on the verge of so many words that he was rendered speechless.

'Is that you?' she asked.

'Yes, Lily, it's me,' he answered.

She said nothing else, only continued to look at him, blinking in slow motion every few seconds. Her expression betrayed no hint of what she was feeling. He only returned her gaze, hoping that, at the very least, she wasn't disgusted by his presence.

She went to move her arms and winced sharply before abandoning the attempt. 'It hurts,' she said with a shaky voice.

Snape nodded, a surge of grief threatening to overtake him. 'I know it does.'

She took several deep breaths before speaking again.

'Madam Pomfrey said you… you were here … that you helped me…'

'Shhh, Lily, don't speak,' he said. It's okay.'

'Is… is it true? You were here?' she asked again, her green eyes piercing his.

_How persistent she could be_, Snape thought. He nodded.

She smiled weakly and closed her eyes against the sunlight.

There was silence for several moments. Snape watched her unmoving figure and wondered when she was going to pose the questions he did not want to answer.

'I'm thirsty,' she said.

Drawing his wand, conjuring a goblet and filling it with water and adding a straw, he guided it between her parched lips and she drank.

She finished, and Snape placed the empty glass on the side table. Lily stared at the ceiling for several moments. Snape watched her intently, wondering what thoughts lived behind her eyes, what emotions existed behind her silence.

She turned back to Snape, her eyes filled with the shadows of curiosity, and as she was about to speak, Snape heard a sound behind him.

Turning around, he saw Dumbledore standing in the doorway. Snape immediately grew hot, wondering just how much of his exchange with Lily he had witnessed.

Dumbledore smiled and strode to where Snape sat.

'Good morning, Severus, I was just dropping in to check on Lily's progress,' he explained, having realized he had interrupted a private moment. 'How are you feeling, my dear?'

Lily winced again. 'It hurts to move, and my head…' she said, her voice trailing off.

Dumbledore nodded. 'Rest, my dear, and let Madam Pomfrey take care of you.'

She reached a weak hand out to Dumbledore, who took it and squeezed it as a sign of his compassion. Within moments, she had slipped into sleep again.

Dumbledore placed her hand back by her side. He indicated that he was leaving and that Snape was to come with him.

Once into the hall, he and Dumbledore were free to speak.

'How much did you see?' Snape asked, wondering if he really wanted to know the answer.

'Are you ashamed of your feelings, Severus?'

'No, of course not,' he replied. 'I just want to know.'

'I was there a few minutes before Lily woke up.'

'So, basically, you saw everything.'

'Yes, I guess that's accurate,' said Dumbledore.

Snape had a distinct feeling that Dumbledore was enjoying himself.

'I understand perfectly well that you let a lot of the walls fall down in her presence. Love is a wonderful thing, and can make people do extraordinary things. You are not weak.'

Snape didn't know what to make of this, so he chose another course.

'She knew that I had been there,' Snape said.

Dumbledore nodded. 'Yes, Poppy and I both felt it was a good idea to tell her that you had a hand in her recovery.'

'She seems to have her faculties,' said Snape. 'But why isn't she asking about Potter and her son?'

Dumbledore did not immediately respond. He seemed to be considering his response carefully.

Snape and Dumbledore headed into the Great Hall and took their spots at the Head Table. Sunlight streamed thought the high-mullioned windows. They were early for lunch, as no one else had arrived yet, and it afforded them a few moments to talk.

'Poppy and I have discussed that, and based on our collective opinions, it seems Lily is suffering from amnesia. Poppy examined her, and she has a terrible bruise on her head that is, thankfully, hidden by her hair. She must have sustained a blow at some point that has clouded her recollection of the night's events. But I do not believe that it will last. At some point, something will trigger her memories and bring them back.'

Snape sat in silence, considering what had been said.

'Do you feel that this is a good thing?' asked Snape.

Dumbledore shrugged. 'Yes and no. Yes, in that her emotions will not impede her physical recovery. She can regain her health in peace. No, in that it does James and Harry a disservice. But like I said, it is temporary.'

'She remembers who I am,' Snape said, more to himself than to Dumbledore.

'Yes, she remembers you. And she didn't seem upset by your presence.'

Snape smiled.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. 'It seems that, according to Madam Pomfrey, that when she learned that you had been there and saw to her injuries, Lily cried.'

Snape felt a swooping feeling in his stomach. Had she really cried? Was this crying in a positive sense, or something else? For the time being, he chose to believe the former. 'I was hoping that she wouldn't –'

Snape was cut off by a painful burning sensation in his left forearm. The joy and warmth he had been filled with only seconds before had vanished to be replaced with a cold, dead, sickening, feeling. He glanced wide-eyed to Dumbledore, who looked deeply unnerved, and without a word, Snape ran from the Hall, crossed the grounds, and ran down the winding driveway until he was beyond the gate. He turned on the spot, his heart pounding, and Disapparated.


	5. Chapter 5 – Into The Serpent’s Den

**Chapter 5 – Into The Serpent's Den**

Snape's surroundings reformed within moments. He appeared on a lawn strewn with orange and red leaves, nearly bare trees blowing ominously in the same breeze that seemed so sweet at Hogwarts.

A dozen others had already arrived, and several more were appearing. Together they all stood in silence and waited for the Dark Lord to appear. Snape watched the others. Most of them appeared very eager, as though they could imagine no greater honour than to answer Voldemort's call. Snape appeared indifferent on the outside, but on the inside, he wanted nothing more than to flee.

As he stood there in the back yard of the Riddle Manor, he remembered what Dumbledore had said to him during their last meeting – keep your eyes and ears open for hints about the Horcrux theory.

Within moments of that thought, the pale figure cloaked in black wended his way smugly though the brambles and wildly tangled shrubs and abused-looking stone figures. The Death Eaters closed ranks and formed a tight circle as Voldemort came a stop beneath an old stone archway, preparing to address the group.

He raised his hands, a twisted smile spreading across his face. Snape had long ago learned that anything that made Voldemort happy was not good. Even his happiness was just a lesser degree of anger.

'Welcome back, my faithful followers,' he said in his usual dry voice, though in a tone that usually preceded the announcement of something of great importance. 'I foresee a bright future for Pure-bloods, and for those who haven't lost the faith in me.'

Voldemort strode into the middle of the circle as he continued to address the Death Eaters. 'As you already know, with the help of Severus Snape, I came to know of a potential threat to our cause. And I want to tell all – I have eliminated this threat!'

A chorus of cheers rose from the group.

'I, Lord Voldemort, am INVINCIBLE!' he shouted the last word with painful intensity, and the cheers rose to a deafening volume.

Because Snape could not stomach the thought of joining in the celebration, he merely sent up a series of fireworks from his wand.

Raising his hands, silence immediately fell upon them. Voldemort waved his wand and a small bundle appeared on the ground before them.

'This,' he said without looking to it, but rather, walking around it, 'is the body of the child who was prophesized to be the one with the power to defeat me.' He said the words with a malicious snarl. 'Does this look like it has any chance of defeating me now?'

Snape's insides were clenched as he looked upon the small bundle. Though he couldn't see his little face, Snape felt uncomfortable at being so close to Lily's child. His thoughts immediately strayed to Lily, who had forgotten she had a child, and was blissfully ignorant of his death and the fact that his body was now being subject to this twisted public humiliation. To compound his unease, he wondered what Lily would think if she ever found out, and even worse, what she would think of him when she learned that he was the reason behind all this.

'But death is not enough for this lowly maggot,' hissed Voldemort. He spat on the ground near Harry. 'No, he shall be entirely destroyed. There will never be a shred of evidence to ever give witness that he ever existed, and no one will ever question me again, and those who dare will meet the same fate as this.'

With a dramatic wave of his wand, flames erupted around the child's body. It happened so fast that most of the crowd screamed and retreated a few steps.

The heat generated was by far more intense than normal fire, and within seconds, the fire burnt out, leaving the grass unharmed, but having consumed every last fiber of the little body and the sheet that covered him.

Another round of even louder cheers went up, and Voldemort bowed deeply, overcome by his own sense of superiority.

'And now, we have even more important matters to attend to. You all know what to do and where you are supposed to be. Do not fail me.'

Nearly all the Death Eaters Disapparated, leaving only Snape and a few others.

'And now, the rest of you, I have each a task for you.' He rounded on Snape first.

'Severus, you have helped me greatly. I wish to speak to you last.'

Snape watched as he gave instructions to the others who promptly left, leaving Snape alone with Voldemort.

'Now, Severus. I am compelled to show my gratitude to you. You have rendered me a great service, far greater than any other. And in return, I have granted you your request.'

Snape stood as still as possible, trying not to let his emotions betray him. He wanted to shout out, to tell the old snake that he did not ask him to torture Lily after he spared her. 'I am forever in your debt, my Lord,' he said mechanically.

'Indeed you are, Severus. And you have proven yourself worthy of the task I have been saving for my most faithful servant.'

'I am honoured to serve you, my Lord,' Snape said blankly as he bowed. 'What is it you ask of me?'

'You will return here tomorrow at midnight, for I need time to finalize my preparations, and at that time, I shall divulge the task to you.'

For a moment, Snape gazed into the empty void that existed behind Voldemort's snake-like eyes. Gooseflesh rippled along his skin that had nothing to do with the cool breeze that blew unrestrained over the valley.

'Of course, my Lord.'

'Very well, resume your post as spy at Hogwarts, and we shall speak tomorrow.'

Snape inclined his head and watched Voldemort turn around and begin walking back to the Manor. With one final look at the place where Harry's body had been, Snape Disapparated, appearing within moments outside Hogwarts' wrought iron gate.

Unable to still his racing heart or repress the nausea building within him, Snape bent over and vomited.

Breathing deeply, he opened the gate using a spell that only staff members possessed, and made his way to the Headmaster's study.


	6. Chapter 6 – Lily’s Secret

**Chapter 6 – Lily's Secret**

Dumbledore paced back and forth on the stone floor of his office, trying to take in everything Snape had told him. Snape did not want to interrupt, as Dumbledore was in deep thought.

Finally, Dumbledore spoke. 'And you don't know what he has assigned to the first group of Death Eaters that left?'

'No.' There was a moment's pause. 'What do you make of it?'

'I imagine some sort of scheme to seize control of the Ministry. But I've been working tirelessly with the Order to enhance security to the point of inconvenience. You said Lucius Malfoy was in that first group?'

'Yes,' said Snape.

'Yes, he has all kinds of influence at the Ministry,' said Dumbledore. 'Real tight with some high-ranking officials. That's probably exactly what their job is. Infiltrate from within and take over before anyone knows what has hit them.'

'But Dumbledore, if, as you predict, my task is to hide or safeguard the Horcruxes, what am I to do with them?'

'You must destroy them, Severus. You must make replicas, do whatever Voldemort wants you to do with them, and destroy the real ones.'

'How do I destroy a Horcrux?' Snape asked.

Dumbledore paused. 'I am not entirely sure, but rest assured, we will find a way.'

Snape felt less than optimistic, for when Dumbledore didn't have an immediate answer and no hypothesis, the solution was usually very hard to come upon.

Dumbledore sat down in his chair and sighed, a smile appearing on his face as he gazed at Snape over his half-moon spectacles.

'What is it?' Snape asked.

'In the brief time that you've been gone, it has come to my attention that someone has been asking about you.'

Snape raised an eyebrow. 'Who?'

'Lily.'

'I thought she was asleep,' he said quickly.

'She was, but she didn't stay that way for long. Madam Pomfrey said she kept asking for you.'

Snape's heart skipped a few beats.

'I think you should pay her a visit,' said Dumbledore, with a twinkle in his eye.

Snape nodded, and without further ado, left Dumbledore's office.

--

Snape pushed open the doors to the hospital wing. Lily was sitting up, looking infinitely better than she had only hours before. She was reading a book when Snape appeared, and upon his arrival, she closed it and tucked it under the covers.

She smiled. 'Severus.'

The ethereal manner in which his name flowed from her in a single breath sent a jolt through him. She seemed fairly happy, so Snape could safely assume that her memory hadn't returned. He walked toward her and sat down beside her bed.

'Where did you go? You were here when I fell asleep and then you were gone.'

'I had papers to mark.' It wasn't entirety a lie, he reasoned, thinking of the stack waiting for him on his desk.

She nodded. 'So… do you enjoy being a teacher?'

Snape dropped his gaze to the floor. 'There are worse things.'

'How long have you been here?' she asked.

He paused before answering. 'This is my first year,' he said flatly.

Lily looked at him. Her eyes expressed such disappointment that he wished he could crawl under a rock and die. They both knew what he had become. He knew he had let her down, and in more ways that he hoped she'd ever know.

'So are you still a…?' she began, but didn't have the heart to finish.

Snape sighed. 'It's complicated,' he whispered, looking around the room. The boy who had been there earlier was now gone, and Madam Pomfrey was in her office.

'Surely Dumbledore wouldn't have hired you unless he could trust you,' she said.

'He does trust me. And I am working against the Dark Lord, but still keeping my cover as Death Eater,' Snape said.

Her lips curved into a slight smile at this revelation. 'You're fighting him?'

'Yes,' he said, 'but you can't tell anyone. Please Lily, this situation is precarious enough.'

'Then why tell me?' she countered.

He glanced to the floor for a moment before meeting her gaze again. 'Because I want you to trust me too.'

Silence fell upon them. Lily absently picked at the sheet covering her legs and did not look up at Snape. He wanted to say something, but couldn't decide what would be best. He just hoped she wouldn't ask him what changed his mind about Voldemort.

'Thank you for what you did for me,' said Lily, indicating her arms that boasted long scars that were fading more and more by the day. 'Madam Pomfrey was quite impressed.'

Snape lifted one corner of his mouth into a smile.

Lily looked up and met his black eyes. 'I knew you had a good side, Severus. I just don't understand why you always felt you had to hide it.'

A long strand of hair fell off her shoulder and dangled in her face. She pushed it back. Snape watched her delicate movements, hating himself for not choosing differently in his past. He had driven her into the arms of James Potter by refusing to give up an infatuation with darkness that he now could not fathom. He had even been under the delusion that Lily would somehow be impressed with him if he – a boy whom no one liked or cared about – could make a name for himself in an organization as exclusive and as notorious as the Death Eaters.

But now that he thought about it, someone had cared about him. Lily had been there for him when no one else had been, and he had thrown it all away… and for what?

'Severus?'

He was lifted from his reverie at the sound of her voice. He shifted his weight in the chair.

'Where were you just now?' she asked.

'Just thinking,' he said dismissively. 'I've got a lot on my mind.'

'That's what you used to say,' she said, shaking her head slightly. Snape wasn't sure if she was disappointed or if it was simply for the effect of reminiscence. 'Always so secretive.'

'Maybe someday I won't have to be.' The words just seemed to flow from him without effort.

Lily eyed him curiously. She had a way of making him feel like he was transparent, that all his thoughts and feelings were as obvious as though they were on display. He cleared his throat when he noticed the book's imprint under the sheets. He was desperate for a change of topic.

'What were you reading when I came in?'

'Oh, that. Just a book Dumbledore lent to me,' she said. 'I was bored and he said I might find it interesting.'

'What's it about?'

She seemed to unconsciously push it further away from her, toward the opposite side of the bed, beyond his reach. 'I'll tell you once I figure it out for myself.'

The large clock down the hall chimed six o'clock.

'I don't know about you,' said Snape, 'but I missed lunch and I'm really hungry.'

'Yeah, me too.' Her eyes lit up. 'Do you think you could sneak me up something?'

Snape smiled and was reminded of all the times they had snuck into the kitchens together as students. 'I'm a professor now, Lily. It is no longer a question of sneaking.'

'What's the fun in that?' she asked playfully.

'I'll bring you something good.'

He made his way down to the Great Hall with a renewed vigor in his step. He was, as was Lily, perfectly aware that Madam Pomfrey was more than capable of seeing to Lily's every need, even food. But Snape felt a surge of elation in that she had asked _him_ to see to it. For a moment it even pushed from his mind the book Dumbledore had given to Lily, and what, if anything, they were hiding from him.


	7. Chapter 7 – Snape’s Task

**Chapter 7 – Snape's Task**

The following day began with a message that Dumbledore had been called into London for the day, which meant that he was free to spend time with Lily. Once again, he ignored the stack of assignments that, compared to Lily's bright and smiling face, had an aura of sheer pointlessness to them.

He was careful to tread around subjects that might trigger the return of her memory. Part of him secretly hoped that she never regained her memory. He reasoned that he didn't want to see her suffer any more than she already had, which was perfectly true, but he couldn't deny, not even to himself, that to see her in despair over the unworthy stain that was James Potter was something he couldn't bear.

Snape noticed that Madam Pomfrey seemed to be keeping a particularly close watch on them. He knew it had nothing to do with his presence, as she had been welcoming of him since he miraculously reversed Lily's injuries. He suspected it had more to do with the way he behaved around Lily. At one point, he had even taken Madam Pomfrey aside and asked her not to say anything to anyone about it.

Finally, long after sunset and after many happy hours of reunion, the clock chimed ten o'clock. Two hours before he was to rendezvous with Voldemort at Riddle Manor. A paralyzing feeling of dread washed over him. He stood up.

'Well, Lily,' he said regretfully, 'I'd better go. I've still got a lot of papers to mark before classes tomorrow.'

She nodded, and he was sure he detected a hint of disappointment in her expression.

She peered up at him with her wide jade green eyes. 'You will come back, won't you?' she said gently.

A swooping feeling in his stomach caught him off guard. He smiled to her. 'If you want me to, I'll be here.'

She smiled. 'Goodnight, Severus.'

'Goodnight.'

He turned and left the hospital and he made his way down to the dungeons to finally tackle the students' papers, unable to decide which was his dominant emotion – the absolute thrill of being on speaking terms with Lily again, or the daunting fear of the appointment that loomed so closely in his future.

--

At ten minutes to midnight, Snape had only made his way through half the stack Potions assignments. He had hoped that reading the bland drivel that students called research would take his mind off what was to come, but it had been so flat that there had been several times in which he had read a line and it had slipped through his mind like smoke in a breeze.

Placing his inkwell and quill back in the top drawer of his desk, he donned his traveling cloak and set off toward the Entrance Hall.

Much to his surprise and delight, Dumbledore had returned from London and was waiting for him. His heart was racing, but knowing he was fully backed by Dumbledore, the only wizard Voldemort would not cross, made him feel a bit better.

'Good luck tonight, Severus.'

'Thank you. I'm going to need it.'

'And remember, if we are correct in our assumptions, then you must act like you have no idea what Horcruxes are.'

'I know.'

'In the meantime, I'm going to do a little research and see if I can find anything that can help up destroy them.'

Snape admired Dumbledore's unwavering confidence in his own theories. With a weak smile, he set off through the doors and into the night.

The darkness was thick and cold. He drew his wand and whispered _'Lumos!' _ Pulling his cloak tighter around him, he set off to the gate, the gravel crunching loudly beneath his feet in the stillness of the late hour.

Once he finally reached the boundary of the castle's enchantments, he Disapparated, appearing moments later on a dark country path just a few minutes away from the Riddle Manor. A single light shone from the house. Voldemort was waiting for him.

Swallowing hard against the dread building inside him, he set off at a quick pace.

He made his way through the front garden. Everything about this place seemed even darker and colder than was normal. He climbed the front steps and he felt himself cross the threshold shield Voldemort has put in place to keep all non-Death Eaters out. Possessing the Dark Mark was the only way to gain entrance, and passing though the barrier left him feeling slightly lightheaded.

He extinguished his wand and followed the source of light to a room on the upper floor. He approached the room with extreme caution. He strained to hear anything to indicate what Voldemort was doing, but he heard nothing but the deafening ring of silence, broken only by the soles of his boots connecting with the old hardwood floor with each step.

Stopping outside the door, he was about to announce his arrival when he heard the raspy voice. He cringed. 'Enter, Severus.'

The old wooden door creaked as it slowly swung back. The room was bathed in soft light from a series of candles sitting on a table. Two wing-backed chairs stood near an unused hearth, which Voldemort motioned to with a pale, thin hand.

Snape sat down opposite Voldemort. He hated looking at him, the hairless marble white wax-like skin pulled taut over his skull, the unnerving absence of his nose, and the red eyes with their thin slit pupils. But Snape always made sure to erect that wall in the forefront in his mind that prevented Voldemort from seeing any of these thoughts.

'I come most anxiously, my Lord,' said Snape.

'I knew you would, Severus. What I have planned for you is an honour the others would surely kill to have.'

_Which isn't saying much,_ thought Snape.

'I am entrusting you with a task, the details of which are not to leave this room or be repeated to a single living soul.'

'Of course, my Lord. Your trust is the highest privilege.'

Voldemort rose from the chair and slithered to the table, picking up a black sack and bringing it back with him. He resumed his seat.

He loosened the drawstring and pulled out what appeared to be a golden locket. He handed it to Snape with such care that he was unsettled. Snape turned it over in his hands, observing the jade serpentine 'S' embossed on the locket.

'Is this a relic of the great Salazar Slytherin?' asked Snape incredulously.

'Yes, very astute, Severus. I have cast a powerful enchantment over it. That is no mere locket you hold in your hand.'

Snape's heart began to beat faster. He needed to pry information out of Voldemort without appearing to be anything more than innocently curious.

'What manner of enchantment, my Lord?' Snape asked.

'Details are unnecessary, Severus. For the time being, all you are required to know is that these six objects' – he indicated the bag – 'will ensure that I evade death.'

It took much effort for Snape to maintain his decorum. Dumbledore had been right.

Voldemort proceeded to extract each object and explain at great length what each represented and how they had come to be in his possession. This one he had come across along his travels through an Albanian forest some years ago, and it turned out to be Ravenclaw's lost diadem… these two he had stolen some thirty years prior from an old lady named Hepzibah Smith… and on he went.

'What is it I am to do with these objects?' Snape asked, straining to control the tone and stability of his voice.

'You are to be their guardian, to ensure their safety above all else. As you take on this immense responsibility, you are exempt from all future Death Eater meetings. If I need to communicate with you, I will do so by other means.'

Snape couldn't believe what he was hearing.

'You are to hide the objects within Hogwarts castle and place heavy concealment and untraceable charms on them,' Voldemort said in his sibilant intonation.

'Is there any place within the castle you would prefer me to hide them?' asked Snape.

Voldemort thought in silence for a moment. Suddenly a taut leer consumed his features. 'Yes, there is. On the seventh floor, on the wall opposite that inane tapestry of dancing trolls, which I assume is still there, walk along and focus on what you need – a room that can he found only by you. A door will appear and you will hide the objects within that room.'

Snape nodded, thinking of what else he needed to know. 'Should I ever need to use one of these objects, how do I go about it?'

Voldemort's smile vanished to be replaced with a bitter expression. For a moment Snape had feared he had gone too far, and given himself away for knowing more than he was letting on.

'Dumbledore confiscated some highly informative books from me many years ago. I suspect he still has them, and I'm sure you can persuade him to let you see them, or at least steal them. If not, there are plenty of resources at Borgin and Burkes. Everything you need to know is in a book called _Incantations of the Immortal_.'

Snape suppressed a shiver of both fear and excitement. Voldemort replaced all the objects within the black bag again and pulled the drawstring tight, waving his wand over the bag in what Snape was certain was some sort of protection spell. He handed it to Snape.

Snape stared down at the bag, fully aware of the gravity of what he held in his hands.

'I do not deserve this honour. Thank you, my Lord. I will guard these objects with my life.'

Voldemort seemed satisfied. 'You may go, Severus…'

Snape stood up, made a slight bow to Voldemort, and lost no time heading for the door.

'… but before you do, I want to know how it was.'

Snape stopped and turned back to face Voldemort.

'How it was, my Lord?'

'Yes, Severus. I spared the filthy Mudblood Lily Potter because you desired her. She was my gift to you for relaying the prophecy. Surely you have made full use of my generosity by now.'

Snape's contempt in that moment could no be articulated in words. He struggled on the verge of tears and lashing out at the vile snake that stood before him. But fighting with all his will, he forced a devilish smile and replied, 'Thank you, my Lord. It is a pleasure rivaled only by serving you.'

The very words repulsed him, and they felt thick and disgusting as he said each one.

Voldemort cackled a strange, unnatural laugh that had nothing to do with happiness. Snape turned and left, walking as fast as he could until he was in the front yard. He Disapparated back to Hogwarts, glad to put such instant distance between him and Voldemort. Snape never bothered lighting his wand as he walked to the castle. The bright lights shining from within were like a beacon of hope.

The black bag swung heavily from his hand as tears streamed down his face and Voldemort's evil laughter lingered in his ears, stinging his mind like bitter poison.

**NOTE:** the 'thirty some years prior' Hepzibah Smith incident is based on the HP-Lexicon year of 1947 (1981-1947 34 years)


	8. Chapter 8 – Resurgence of Memory

**Chapter 8 – Resurgence of Memory **

Snape watched as Dumbledore concealed the six Horcruxes within a safe behind the portrait of Armando Dippet. Once finished, he replaced the portrait to its original position and beamed at Snape.

'Did you find anything that might help us destroy them?' asked Snape.

'I've been leafing through some of the old books,' – he inclined his head to the concealed bookshelf – 'but nothing has presented itself yet. But do not despair, Severus! We shall find a way.'

Snape sighed heavily; he was tired and relieved, though still altogether uneasy about his new position as guardian over the six pieces of Voldemort's shattered soul.

'Do you think he will know? Will he be able to feel it when they are destroyed?'

Dumbledore stroked his bearded chin for a moment before replying. 'I am inclined to believe he won't. The damage of having split his soul into seven pieces will have destroyed it beyond repair, rendering him numb, in that sense. He does not see his soul as the essence of a single fulfilling life, and by doing what he has done, he as assured himself seven empty and ultimately pointless lives. Well,' Dumbledore smiled, 'at least he thinks he has.'

Snape felt a little better by these words. 'While I certainly am not complaining that I am no longer required to answer when the Dark Mark burns, why has he allowed it? Why does he want the Horcruxes to be hidden here?'

Dumbledore squinted his eyes in concentration, pacing the floor absently as he considered the question. 'Knowing Tom as I do, I believe this school has always been the only place he has ever considered home. It is an ancient building that contains many secrets, and, as is common knowledge, one of he safest places in the wizarding world. It is an ideal place for his Horcruxes for all these reasons. Plus, he firmly believes that you are his spy, and while you are here, he believes that you are an extra layer of protection. I am assuming he did not let you leave until you made some sort of oath to him.'

'I swore to guard them with my life.'

Dumbledore smiled and shook his head, as though disappointed. 'Tom Riddle was such a bright boy. Too bad he is an ignorant fool. He still does not realize the real reason why you asked him to spare Lily, does he?'

Snape shook his head and was painfully reminded of the horrible things Voldemort had said about her in parting, and the terrible reply he gave.

They stood in silence for a moment. In the distance, the clock chimed two o'clock.

'Great Scot! I won't keep you any longer, Severus. I know the strain of having to teach without being rested.'

Snape nodded and headed to the door.

'Goodnight, Dumbledore.'

'Goodnight.'

Snape made his way through the dark and deserted halls. While his feet led him into the heightened chill and loneliness of the dungeons, his mind led him high into the castle's top floor, where he knew Lily slept peacefully. A shiver passed over him as he wondered just how much longer her dreams would be pleasant.

--

The following day got off to a rather unfortunate start, and was not helped by that fact that he had gotten so little sleep. A group of third year Gryffindors with a flair for mischief thought it would be amusing to set the robes their rival Slytherins on fire. Snape, who instantly quenched the fire before anyone was hurt, rounded on the Gryffindors and sentenced them to a month of detention and docked a total of three hundred points from their house. The incident was a painful reminder of a prank James Potter and Sirius Black had once pulled on him, which only served to compounded his anger.

He was grateful that the second period that day was free, which gave him time to plow through the rest of the unmarked Potions assignments. He got through the remainder of the day knowing that Lily would be expecting him that evening.

--

He ate in the Great Hall, downing his plateful relatively quickly, even for him. He sat to Dumbledore's right, who, at one point, lowered his voice as he addressed him.

'Poppy tells me Lily is doing much better. She has not complained of pain since early yesterday, save for her headaches.'

Snape nodded and smiled. 'I'm glad,' he whispered back. The din of conversing students was so thick that there was little chance of them being overheard.

'I understand that she is expecting you tonight for another visit,' said Dumbledore as he sliced though the thick steak on his plate.

Snape nodded. 'Yes, I told her I'd be back.'

Dumbledore smiled without looking at him. The way in which he smiled gave Snape the distinct impression that Dumbledore wasn't being entirely open with him.

Snape finished, bid good evening to Dumbledore, and set off for the hospital wing.

Much to his dismay, Lily was asleep when he arrived. Sitting down on the chair that Madam Pomfrey had been so kind to leave for him, Snape took in her dreaming figure. Her head was tilted to one side, facing away from him. He noticed that her hair was drawn back in an elastic, which enhanced her sweeping jaw line and the gentle swell of her ivory cheek. Her lashes fanned out in a gentle upward curve.

Snape felt an odd tingling sensation in the back of his neck that slowly and gently eased through his entire body, consuming him from limb to limb to the very fringe of his extremities. It was not a foreign feeling. He had felt it often as a teenager when he would look at her, and its intensity would spike when she would hug him or inadvertently touch him. He often wondered what it was about Lily that made him feel this way, whether it was simply his feelings for her or if she possessed something intangible within her that had such a profound effect on him.

Snape shifted his weight and caught sight of something in his periphery. On the bedside table he noticed a crumpled cloth that looked as though it had been deliberately smoothed out. Brushing it out of the way, he noticed that it was the book that Lily had been reading two days earlier that she had been so keen to conceal from him. Like the old book about Horcruxes Dumbledore had asked him to read, its black cover was worn and frayed by time. Surely Dumbledore wasn't asking her to read such a book, thought Snape. The book was lying face down, but he made out the upside-down faded words that had been stamped along the spine: _Innate Magic_.

A slight frown graced Snape's features. While he had never heard of the title, he wondered why, of all books, Dumbledore would lend her this one.

He reached out to pick it up, but as he did, Lily stirred in her sleep. Snape quickly threw the cloth back over the book and turned his attention to Lily. He watched as her head twitched slightly, her eyes moving beneath their lids, her forehead boasting tiny wrinkles as she frowned in her sleep.

'James,' she whispered softly.

Snape felt like he had just fallen into a pool of icy water. He was sure his heart stopped for a moment.

He watched in frozen terror as she repeated the name several more times over the next few minutes. Snape wanted to run, to get as far away from her as he could in case she woke up. He did not want to be the one to explain to her that James and Harry were dead, but he could not summon his legs to carry him out.

For a moment she seemed to calm down, and Snape hoped that the dream had passed, but suddenly, she began violently tossing her head from side to side, a band of glistening sweat forming above her brow. She began howling in pain, screaming for James and for Harry.

Madam Pomfrey emerged from her office, her expression one of grave realization once she registered what was happening. She rushed toward Lily, extracting her wand and a small bottle of sea-foam green potion from her apron.

Suddenly, Lily shot up, bringing herself to a sitting position in bed. Her eyes were wide open and filled with terror. Her breathing was rapid and shallow.

She turned to Snape, who himself was looking panic stricken.

'Severus! Where are they?' she screamed. 'Where are James and Harry?'

Snape was rendered speechless and felt rather ill.

Madam Pomfrey gently took her by the shoulders, trying to get her to lie back down.

Lily forcefully pushed her way, but ignored her otherwise. Her gaze did not leave Snape. 'Where are they? We have to go to them! They're in danger! They need me!'

Lily threw back her sheets and jumped up from her bed, but immediately collapsed beneath her own weight. Snape caught her before she fell and held her steady in his arms.

Her eyes pleaded with his, tears glossing over her brilliant green irises. 'Severus, please. Take me to them. Help me find them!' she begged desperately.

Snape looked to Madam Pomfrey for some kind of support. She only stared back at him apprehensively.

Snape looked at Lily, a knot of emotion weighing him down, threatening to overcome him.

'I can't, Lily,' he said thickly. 'I can't take you to them.'

She blinked, causing little streams of tears to slide down her cheeks.

'Why? Severus, please. I need you,' she begged on the verge of sobs.

Snape closed his eyes. He couldn't bear to look at her as he said the words. 'There's nothing we can do, Lily,' he said, his voice shaking. 'They're gone.'

For a moment time seemed suspended. Suddenly Lily's body went limp in his arms. Her head collapsed into his chest as she let out the most grief stricken sound Snape had ever heard. He supported her weight to prevent her from crumpling on the floor, holding her tightly next to him. Even though he couldn't fully appreciate the magnitude of Lily's pain, he wept for her as he held her, her cries shaking the very foundation of who he was.


	9. Chapter 9 – In the Right Direction

**Chapter 9 – In the Right Direction **

Dumbledore closed his office door behind him, leaving Snape alone in the Headmaster's study. He removed the Horcruxes from the safe and extracted them from the bag one by one, laying them upon Dumbledore's desk. The bag contained Slytherin's locket, Hufflepuff's cup, Ravenclaw's diadem, a ring set with a heavy stone engraved with an odd symbol, an old leather book that contained no writing, and a bronzed baby shoe. Snape had the distinct feeling that this last item had been stolen from the Potter's house.

Snape noticed how the objects felt simultaneously warm and cold, as though they contained empty life. Not wanting to spend more time with these objects than was necessary, he created duplicates of each item, making sure to replace the originals in the bag and return them to the safe. He placed the duplicates in a deep pocket inside his cloak and set off to the seventh floor.

Snape walked along, barely noticing the students congregated throughout the hallways as he passed. Eventually he came to the wall opposite the dancing trolls and began to pace, focusing on what he needed as Voldemort had instructed him. Within moments, a small door appeared in the solid stone. Scanning in each direction to make sure no one was watching, Snape opened the door and disappeared inside.

He stepped into a small room no bigger than his office. He strode to a small nook in the stone wall that had caught his eye and placed all six fake Horcruxes into it, muttering all the untraceable and concealment spells he knew. Once he was finished, he left the room.

As instructed by Dumbledore, he returned to the Headmaster's study and began perusing _Incantations of the Immortal_ once more in search of anything that could help him destroy the Horcruxes. But after an hour of only learning a lot of things he would rather not know, he was no closer to an answer. He decided to end his search for the time being, and for some reason suddenly realized that not once had Voldemort directly referred to the six objects as Horcruxes. Rather, he had only said they were objects designed to evade death.

He cast the book aside and let his thoughts focus fully on Lily. That's where Dumbledore had gone, to see her and talk to her. His heart ached for her as he imagined her crying all night, unable to sleep. He hoped Madam Pomfrey had put her into a dreamless sleep again.

The sound of the door opening brought Snape back to the present moment. Dumbledore strode in and went to Fawkes, who let out a low musical cry at Dumbledore's appearance.

'How is she?' Snape asked.

'The poor girl is a mess, naturally,' said Dumbledore.

'How much did you tell her?'

'Only what she needed to know.' He gently stroked Fawkes feathers. 'I told her that James and Harry are indeed dead. Killed by Voldemort, and that James's body was removed from the house and buried in the cemetery in Godric's Hollow. I did not, however, tell her the deplorable manner in which Voldemort disposed of poor Harry.'

Snape's throat constricted at the memory.

'You'll be pleased to know that she has been asking for you.'

Snape couldn't help but feel better at this news.

Dumbledore sat down at his desk. 'Have you hidden the replicas?'

'Yes,' said Snape, anxious to leave so he could go to Lily. 'They real ones are back in the safe. Although I couldn't find anything in the book about Horcrux destruction.'

Dumbledore didn't seem surprised or even disappointed. He simply smiled and said, 'Go on. Lily needs you now.'

Smiling, Snape turned on his heal and left.

--

Lily was sitting in a squashy chair by the window with her back to the door, watching the sunset. The sky in the distance was lit up in neon shades of orange, yellow, and pink. The brilliant light cast the hospital wing in a warm tone. Snape heard her sobbing softly as he slowly and quietly approached her.

He sat down in the chair beside her.

Lily raised her head and attempted a weak smile that was immediately overpowered by her grief. Her tears sparkled in the sunlight, her face framed by beautiful locks of intense red hair.

'Severus,' she said, her voice distorted by her tears.

'I'm here, Lily,' he said reassuringly.

She reached out a hand to him, and he took it. Holding her delicate hand in his, he marveled at her warm skin, how soft it was, how each finger gripped his.

He was suddenly crushed by guilt. The fact that he was the reason why she sat here broken-hearted and completely devastated made him feel awful, worse than he had ever felt in his life. He wrestled with his self-hate as he realized that he was no better than Voldemort.

'What am I going to do?' she pleaded desperately.

Snape looked at her and wondered why there were spells that could change the course of one's life for the worse in a matter of seconds, but nothing existed that could do the opposite.

'I don't know, Lily. But I'll tell you this.' He squeezed her hand as he spoke. 'I will always be here for you.'

She nodded and squeezed back. 'Thank you.' She sighed heavily, her breath trembling from her sobs. 'You're all I've got left.'

While Snape was deeply moved by her words, he couldn't help but feel that maybe it was only the depth of her loss that made her say it. After all, if, after James and Harry and even Sirius, he was all she had, why had she entirely shut him out of her life for six years?

Snape pushed the thought out of this mind. Right now, it didn't matter. He reached out with his free hand and brushed her tears away. He could have done it with his wand and done a better job of it, but they both needed this connection, however slight.

She sighed again, trying to bring herself under some semblance of control. The thumb of the hand Snape was holding began to trace absent little circles on the back of his hand.

'Dumbledore was here,' she said. 'They never found Harry.' The latter she said quietly, as though the words themselves were knives that caused her immeasurable pain. 'And Sirius is in Azkaban. I've lost everything, Severus.'

Snape said nothing. He only sat still, listening to her.

'Dumbledore said that you two are closer than ever to putting an end to You-Know-Who.'

Snape nodded. 'We are. He won't get away with what he's done.'

'I don't know what you ever saw in him or his cause,' Lily said bitterly.

'I don't know, either,' said Snape. 'If I could do it over, I never would have gone near Dark Magic. You were right, and I was a blind fool.'

Lily smiled a little. 'It's good to hear you say that.'

'Can you forgive me for what I've done?' Snape asked, surprised by his own words.

Her chin trembled as she nodded.

The sun had completely set and the vibrant colours of day's end had faded from the heavens, leaving behind swirls of navy cloud that scarred the perfect face of the icy blue sky.

Lily stood up from her chair and wiped away the rest of her tears. 'I've been up here for too long. Madam Pomfrey said I could go for a walk if I felt up to it. Will you come with me?'

'Of course I will,' he said.

Snape lent her his cloak and they made their way to the Entrance Hall and into the fresh air of night. They strolled around the grounds, reflecting on many of their happier moments as children. Eventually they came to the edge of the Black Lake. The moon had risen and hung high and full, piercing the darkness with its ghostly glow.

They stood together in silence for a moment, seemingly lost in the sheer vastness of their surroundings. Snape looked to Lily. Her face was luminescent in the darkness; her hair flowed gracefully around her in the breeze.

Gradually they made their way back to the castle. Unbeknownst to both of them, Dumbledore was standing in the Astronomy tower overlooking the grounds, his eyes filling with tears as he watched them together.

Once back in the hospital, Snape helped her settle into bed for the night. Madam Pomfrey administered a Calming Potion before she retired for the night.

The room was in darkness, save for the moonlight that split the darkness with shades of blue.

When she laid down on her pillow, she reached for Snape's hand again. 'Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?'

Snape sat down on the edge of her bed, still holding her hand. He watched her close her eyes, listened to her as she breathed deeply. She seemed to drift off rather quickly, and Snape brought her hand to his lips before placing it gently on the bed. He backed away slowly and silently and observed her for a few moments to be sure she didn't stir. But just as he closed the door, he was sure he heard a faint sob escape her lips.


	10. Chapter 10 – As The Winter Passes

**Chapter 10 – As The Winter Passes **

Winter that year had been rather brutal, which caused Lily and Snape to be confined to the castle on evenings and weekends. Their autumn walks throughout the multi-coloured grounds had been brought to an abrupt end by early storms.

Lily had been released from Madam Pomfrey's care in mid-November, but Dumbledore felt that it was not safe for her to return to living in the world at large, and insisted that she stay at the castle. He arranged sleeping accommodations for her in the staff's quarters and gave her a job giving remedial Potions classes, since Snape did not want to do it, as he and Dumbledore were spending even more time in private discussions these days.

Snape and Lily had spent a lot of time talking about the plans Dumbledore was developing with the Order's help in regards to Voldemort's downfall, and surprisingly enough, Lily had solved their Horcrux destruction dilemma. She had suggested there probably wasn't one single way in which to do it.

Together, over the course of six weeks, she and Snape had brewed the Eradicus Totalus Potion. On a particularly cold night near the end of January, the three of them were all congregated in Snape's dungeon when the potion was ready.

The locket was the first to go. The black potion hissed and boiled violently as the golden locket made contact with the liquid. The metal seemed to melt and a terrible scream issued from it as it vanished.

They all cheered when they realized that this was yet another obstacle eliminated from their path. One by one, they dropped the Horcruxes into the cauldron of the steaming, vile potion. Half an hour later, all the Horcruxes were gone, and Snape had disposed of the deadly mixture.

Dumbledore had excused himself to attend to a previously scheduled appointment with a group of students, leaving Snape and Lily in Snape's office.

Lily's eyes drifted to the pile of papers on his desk. She snickered.

'You just can't stay on top of them, can you?'

'I don't know what's worse, reading their stupidity or putting up with it in class.'

She smiled. 'It can't be that bad. You said yourself that there are worse things.'

He sighed. 'I guess I should be grateful, then.'

Lily smiled and sat down in the large chair behind his desk. Taking a quill from the stand and opening a bottle of ink, she picked up the first paper on the pile and began reading.

Snape stared at her. Lily, feeling his piercing stare, looked up from the paper a few paragraphs in.

'What?' she asked.

'You don't have to do my work for me.'

'I have nothing better to do at the moment,' she said. 'I'll just end up going back to the staff room, spending time alone, thinking about…'

_Great,_ Snape thought. _We've arrived here._ He had done his best to be a compassionate listener as Lily poured her heart out to him over the past three months, but he didn't know how much more he could handle hearing about James Potter and how he was a terrific husband, a wonderful father, and really a decent human being. He didn't mind hearing about her son, as he could sympathize with her grief over losing him. But every statement that painted James in a positive light caused an error message to flash through his brain.

'If you don't want to be alone, Lily, there are other things you can do besides marking papers,' Snape pointed out.

Lily brushed a few stray tears from her eyes. 'Well what do you suggest, Severus?' she said, placing the paper back on the desk and giving him her full attention.

He stood in thought for a moment. There were several things that came to mind, but he knew that she probably wasn't open to those things, at least not yet.

'Seeing as how tomorrow is your birthday and I'll be away with Dumbledore until Monday, why don't we go down to Hogsmeade for a quiet dinner?'

She looked at him with an air of heartfelt surprise. 'You remembered.'

'Of course I remembered. There are some things you always remember.'

She nodded. 'Okay, but on one condition.'

Snape eyed her suspiciously. 'Conditions are more of a Slytherin trait, my dear Gryffindor.'

'Well, having the courage to basically flip You-Know-Who the finger right under his – well, I was going to say his nose –' they both chuckled, '– is clearly a Gryffindor trait, my dear Slytherin.'

'What is your condition, then?' asked Snape, clearly enjoying himself in having his old friend back.

She rearranged her features in a serious expression. 'That you'll stop telling your students that my knowledge of Potions is only _satisfactory_,' she lingered over the word.

Snape narrowed his eyes at her. 'Are you serious? That's your condition?'

'Yes,' she smiled. 'You never could handle the fact that I was better than you at Potions.'

'Not even you appreciate my unique sense of humour,' said Snape in mock disappointment.

'Oh, I appreciate it,' she said, standing up and walking toward him. 'I just don't appreciate my talents being debased by it.'

'You know I don't mean anything by it,' he said.

'You know what your problem is?' she said, sticking her index finger into his chest. 'You just don't like being shown up.'

'Well, I always liked to think our skills were evenly matched.'

Lily smiled and scoffed. 'You wouldn't call us evenly matched if _you_ were the better potion maker.'

Snape considered her. 'This is true.'

Her face broke into a huge grin, her eyes alight with mischief. 'I'm going to get you for that one, _Snape,_' she said, her voice full of mock offense. She hadn't spoke to him like this since before their estrangement. He was thrilled that they could still get on like this and that she hadn't been hardened by her grief.

'In your dreams, Evans,' he said dismissively in his silky tones. 'You don't have the nerve.'

'You know perfectly well that I do, and you'll get yours if you don't stop giving your students the impression that you are better potion maker than I.'

'And what is it I should I be fearing, exactly?' asked Snape in mock concern.

'Wouldn't you like to know…' she taunted him. 'If I told you it would defeat the entire point.' She smirked and turned her back to him, heading to the door.

Without really thinking what he was doing, Snape dodged after her and grabbed her arm and pulled her back around. She twisted around to face him, but he had expected her to put up a fight. She was coming toward him too fast… so close…

Before either of them realized what had happened, their lips met. For a moment they stood frozen together, their wide eyes only inches from the other's. Lily was the first to relax; she closed her eyes and kissed him back, bringing one hand up to cup one side of his face. Snape took a bit longer to relax, but he, too, eventually eased into the moment.

After a minute or two – or maybe even a day, Snape couldn't really tell – they drew apart and Lily stood up on her own. She looked at Snape and then to the floor, her cheeks flushing bright red.

'That was a dirty trick, Snape,' she said playfully, her tone clearly at odds with her expression. 'If we're going to dinner, we should get going.'

She turned around and disappeared out the door, leaving Snape both thoroughly thrilled and confused. He had been waiting for that moment since he was nine years old. But did she really think that he had planned that?

He ran to catch up with her, and suddenly the image of James Potter floated across his mind's eye. He was the last thing Snape wanted to think about, but after a moment, he smiled to himself. He could only imagine the look that would appear on James's face if he knew that he, of all people, had just kissed his wife.


	11. Chapter 11 – Snape’s Promise

**Chapter 11 – Snape's Promise **

Snape, Dumbledore, and Mad-Eye Moody were all sitting together in a far corner of a dark and nearly deserted tavern that had a terrible rotten smell to it. Why, of all places, they had to meet here was beyond Snape. Alastor's eye swiveled constantly in all directions, on the lookout for eavesdroppers.

'So you think things aren't going as planned?' asked Mad-Eye.

'No,' replied Dumbledore.

'How many times has the Dark Mark burned in the last week?' Mad-Eye asked Snape, looking at him with only his normal eye.

'At least twice daily,' he replied.

Alastor considered his words. 'I don't like it,' he said at last. 'I still don't understand why he has exempted you from Death Eater meetings. It's usually a sign that you aren't to be trusted.'

Dumbledore interjected. 'Voldemort trusts Severus.'

'So you keep saying, Dumbledore,' Mad-Eye said sharply. 'When asked to prove your position you only _claim_ to have incontrovertible evidence that You-Know-Who trusts him, but we are never offered anything in the way of solid proof.'

Snape and Dumbledore had never shared with anyone but Lily the knowledge of the acquisition and destruction of the Horcruxes.

'Alastor, I've given you my views,' said Dumbledore sternly. 'This isn't about Severus's position. I am confident that his role as spy is not in jeopardy. The reason for his exemption is due to another matter.'

Mad-Eye shook his head, clearly frustrated, but did not press the subject.

'What are the latest developments at the Ministry?' inquired Dumbledore.

'We've got a whole team of Aurors on a rotating shift patrolling the parameter of the Ministry under various disguises, in addition to newly implemented security measures,' explained Moody. 'No one is permitted in unless they pass a rigorous screening process, which, naturally, has caused quite a backlog for business. But I've been pushing for the Minister to pass a law to get the research underway for developing a Dark Mark detection shield and getting it placed around the premises. We got the idea when you –' he looked at Snape '– described the shield on the Riddle Manor that only allows those with the Mark to pass through. But I suspect Lucius Malfoy has been preventing that with his ridiculously large monetary contributions to St Mungo's and to the Ministry itself. He's been in and out a lot in the past few months. More than usual.'

'But why is he even allowed in, given that it's common knowledge that he's a Death Eater?' asked Snape.

'Malfoy holds a lot of weight with the Ministry. He always has, so they aren't going to just toss him out on his ear, even though that's exactly what they should do. I think they fear antagonizing him. But I've got a feeling that Malfoy has been tampering with the Minister's memory,' said Moody. She's either been Confunded or placed under the Imperius curse, but even that sounds off. I mean, if she was under the Imperius curse, the Ministry would have fallen months ago. Something still isn't right, but none of us can figure it out.'

'I've got a meeting with the Minister at three o'clock. I'll see if I can talk some sense into her, or at least find out what's going on,' Dumbledore said.

'All we can do is hope you'll have more success that we have,' said Moody.

He pulled a heavy pocket watch from his cloak. 'I'd better be off. My patrol shift starts soon.' He rose to his feet, thudding his walking stick heavily on the aged wood floor. He nodded his head to each of them and limped away, leaving Dumbledore and Snape at the table.

'What do you make of it?' asked Snape.

'I think the Minister is putting up a fair fight against whatever Lucius is attempting to do,' said Dumbledore. 'But I'm not leaving that office until I find out exactly what they've been up to.'

Snape nodded and winced as he felt a hot searing sensation in his left forearm. He looked to Dumbledore, who shook his head with grave concern.

'Listen, Severus, I must insist you return to Hogwarts now, earlier than originally planned.'

Snape frowned slightly.

'It's not safe for you to be out in the open like this,' Dumbledore explained.

'I'm not afraid of the other Death Eaters. I doubt the Dark Lord is going to be out for a midday stroll in London, and I know I have your support should anything else happen.'

'Yes, all of that is very true, but if it's all the same to you, I must insist.'

'Why?' Snape persisted. 'Am I not an important part of the resistance against the Dark Lord?'

'On the contrary, Severus, you are irreplaceable,' Dumbledore said calmly.

'Then why am I being sent off prematurely?'

Dumbledore smiled and peered at him over top of his half-moon spectacles. 'I have a distinct feeling that you are also irreplaceable elsewhere.'

--

Snape was walking back up the long path to the castle within moments of leaving the dank tavern. The snow was piled waist high on either side of the path that had been blazed through the snow.

It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the shade of the castle after being out in the bright snow beneath a brilliant sun. He passed the Great Hall, noticing that it contained a fair number of students, despite the fact that it was nearly one-thirty.

He opted to go to his office before eating.

However, when he arrived, he noticed that his door was ajar. His insides immediately stiffened at the thought of intruders. Drawing this wand and approaching cautiously, he pushed the door open.

There was no sign of disturbance. He walked in, his wand pointing in front of him.

And then he heard it – a soft cry.

He turned walked to his room and pushed open the door. Lily, who had been sitting on his bed, jumped, clearly startled by his unexpected appearance.

'Severus!' she exclaimed, wiping her tears. 'I – I'm sorry – I didn't mean to –'

Snape smiled. 'Relax, Lily. It's okay. What are you doing here?'

Snape looked around the room. Aside from the wrinkled bed sheets (the result of her sitting on them) nothing was out of place. Snape caught sight of a book on his bed that he knew he had not left there. Although he had forgotten about it, he recognized it immediately as the book Lily had borrowed from Dumbledore three months earlier.

'I was just thinking,' she said.

'Do you care do share?' Snape asked, although he secretly hoped he wouldn't have to endure another holier-than-thou reminiscence of James Potter.

'I was just thinking about… the other night,' she said, and Snape detected a hint of hesitance in her voice.

This was certainly a better topic than James Potter.

'Why were you thinking about that?' Snape asked.

She looked at him with a wounded look in her eyes. 'Don't you think about it?'

'Of course I think about it. How could I not?' Snape replied.

Snape sat down on his bed, and Lily sat back down beside him.

'Do you want to talk about it?' Snape asked, not sure what to do or what to say.

She gave a defeated sigh. 'I feel guilty,' she said, her gaze fixed firmly on the floor. 'I feel guilty for what happened between us because of James.'

Snape seemed to sink a little inside, and oddly enough, he got the impression that she sensed it.

'It's not for the reason you think,' she quickly assured him. 'It's – oh God, I can't believe I'm saying this!' she said, burying her face in her hands.

'Go on, Lily,' Snape encouraged her. 'Just say it.'

She placed her hands back in her lap. 'It's because it was …unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I really enjoyed it. And I'm really conflicted about my feelings, Sev.'

He immediately noticed her abbreviated use of his name.

'I don't regret what happened, but I feel torn between my growing feelings for you and for what feels like the betrayal of James's memory.'

_Well, that certainly could have been worse_, thought Snape.

They sat together in silence for a moment, and Snape couldn't believe that he was about to say what had just come to mind.

He cleared his throat. 'Do you think Potter would have wanted you to go on for the rest of your life pining for him, or would he want you to be happy?'

'He'd want me to be happy, but it's just not that simple,' said Lily. 'Having you to help me through these past few months has been a real blessing.' She lifted her head and looked at him. 'I don't know how I would have managed without you.'

Snape smiled. 'I told you I'd be here for you.'

'And you really have been…' She sighed; her breathing was becoming shaky. 'I really miss them,' she said, giving herself over to her emotion. 'I'd give anything to have them back.'

_Wonderful_, thought Snape bitterly, as he put an arm around her to comfort her.

'Lily,' he said gently, 'If there's anything I can do – and I mean anything – that will help ease your pain, I want you to tell me.'

She sat with her head bowed for a moment, crying. Finally she looked to him with tear-brimmed green eyes and asked, 'Will you promise me something?'

He nodded.

She took his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. 'Don't let him take you the way he took them. Promise me.'

Snape gazed into the depths of her eyes. He had always hoped that he had meant something to her, even after their friendship had fallen apart. He had always cradled the foolish hope that someday, they would find their way back to each other. He had failed her in so many ways, ways in which she was still blissfully unaware.

But if Lily could sit here and be so scared of losing him that she would even ask such a thing, it was a promise worth making, and worth fighting for.

'I promise.'


	12. Chapter 12 – Valentine’s Day, 1982

**NOTE:** according to the HP lexicon, Fudge took office in 1990, which is a bit after this story. The Minister for the time frame of this story is Millicent Bagnold, who held her office from 1980-1990.

**Chapter 12 – Valentine's Day, 1982**

Snape had become a fairly constant figure in Dumbledore's study over the past few months, and this day was no exception. Dumbledore, who had just returned from London and his meeting with the Minister, took a seat behind his desk as Snape took his position in the chair facing him.

'Did you have more luck than Moody?' Snape asked.

Dumbledore smiled. 'I believe so. As it happens Alastor was right, at least on some counts.'

Snape sat up, poised on the edge of his seat.

'Lucius Malfoy has been in and out, trying to place the Imperius curse on the Minister and the Wizengamot.'

'Has he succeeded?' asked Snape.

'No, for the very simple fact that Millicent has taken unbelievable precautions to protect herself and the officials against Voldemort's influence. All the offices have been fitted with an enchantment that prevents any magic from being performed within the walls. This only functions properly in small areas, so it has not been outfitted in the foyer, and other large spaces, leaving those areas more vulnerable ' explained Dumbledore. 'It turns out most of the Ministry workers only return home very three or four days for fear of being apprehended on the commute.'

Snape shook his head.'If Lucius has gotten in and tried to Imperius them, why hasn't he been arrested?' Snape asked.

'I can only gather that it's better to delay Lucius indefinitely than to chuck him intoAzkaban, and risk an immediate and full scale attack. But it's an attack that is coming nearer and nearer, Severus. It's only a matter of being as prepared as possible when it does finally happen.'

'What is the Order doing besides patrolling the perimeter?' Snape asked.

'Ashton and Mcdonald are on a stealth mission, trying to at least locate the rallying point of the Death Eaters, but they don't meet up in the same place twice.'

Snape furrowed his brow. 'He isn't doing all this work from Riddle Manor?'

'Apparently not,' said Dumbledore, 'which is making matters rather difficult. If we could pinpoint them, then we could have the upper hand in an attack.' He sat back in his chair, looking slightly defeated. 'But alas, things are rarely that simple. Several others are working on developing new means of Dark Magic detection despite the illegality of it.'

'I still don't see why it's still illegal,' Snape said incredulously.

'Well, I agree with Alastor in that they are afraid of antagonizing Voldemort and the Death Eaters until they have a stronger weapons and means of protection. To make it a law would draw attention to their actions, and working in secret is the only way to ensure their safety. Millicent is fully aware of what they are doing and the Order has her full, albeit unofficial, support.'

Snape smiled. 'I always figured she didn't have a backbone, but at least she's not turning a blind eye to the obvious.'

Dumbledore smiled. 'Yes, at least we have that.'

--

Valentine's day that year was, for some reason, a fairly large affair. A group of seventh years had managed to obtain permission to organize a number of activities throughout the day and to hold a dance in the Great Hall in the evening.

'Teachers are allowed to go,' Lily said to Snape imploringly as they finished marking the Potions papers.

'Well go and have fun then,' Snape replied.

'Surely even you could have deduced that I'm trying to persuade you to come too.'

He looked up at her. 'I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a dancer, nor am I fond of being surrounded by hundreds of loud children more than I am required to be.'

She shook her head. 'Some things just don't change, do they?'

'Apparently not. But if you want to go, by all means, go. Don't mope around here on my account,' said Snape, even though he secretly wished that she would stay.

Lily tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear. 'Okay, but I'll be back.'

Snape watched her walk away, her long hair flowing down the middle of her back, bouncing about her narrow waist. Snape imagined running after her and grabbing her arm the way he had two weeks earlier, only this time, with the full intent of kissing her.

But the moment passed, and as he acknowledged the little pang of loss that gripped him in her absence, he wondered when, if ever, he would be able to taste her sweet lips again.

--

Snape had lit a fire in the grate located on the wall opposite his bed. He sat down in a comfortable armchair with a biography of the greatest Potions genius of the twentieth century. He had made his way through the first thirty pages relatively quickly and was so engrossed in his reading that he hadn't heard the soft footfalls behind him.

'I knew you wouldn't miss me.'

Snape jumped at her voice and stood up, setting the book down in the chair.

'I didn't expect you back this soon,' he confessed, although thrilled that she had returned.

She smiled, her gentle features thrown into relief by the light of the fire. Pulling out a small vial from her pocket, Lily removed the stopper and immediately the room was filled with a fluent harmony of violins, flutes, harps, and a piano. Setting the vial on a nearby stand, she walked to Snape, who still hadn't moved from his spot by the chair.

'If you won't join the fun upstairs, I thought I'd bring a taste of it here to you,' she said softly, placing her arms around his neck. Snape tentatively placed his arms around her waist, and they drew each other close. Lily placed her head on Snape's chest, who was a head taller, and he rested his pale cheek on her head, taken by the sweet scent of her smooth hair.

Together they moved in each other's arms in slow circles. Snape was brimmed with the pleasure of feeling her pressed against him, so close, and so full of the pure light he had always admired in her.

As the song slowly faded into oblivion, he felt her body shudder against his, and when she looked to him, her eyes were glossed over with emotion. But this time, it was different. While he was sure he sensed her sadness and the lingering sting of loss, something about her felt happy.

It was almost magnetic, the way their heads drew ever closer and their lips met. It was easier this time, and even more of a delight. Snape felt his body engulfed by a rush of electric warmth as Lily ran her hands down his chest and came to a rest along the sides of his hips. Unable to restrain his pleasure, a soft moan escaped from deep within him.

Lily pulled back, her tears having left long glistening streaks down her cheeks. Snape went to wipe them away, but immediately decided against it. Instead he pressed his thin lips against her warm skin and kissed them away.

Lily closed her eyes as he followed the wet trail with light kisses, his velvet lips like a ray of sun piercing the darkness and banishing the rain.

Her salty sadness played on his lips and tongue, and as he tasted her emotion, he came to fully realize in a way he hadn't before that she was his reason for breathing, for living, for fighting against Voldemort and the darkness at all.

Once again, he found her lips, losing himself in the sheer bliss of her presence. For a moment he thought that the world around them had stopped, and he would have always described that kiss in such a manner had the Dark Mark not burned and ripped the moment to pieces.


	13. 13– Aftermath of Snape’s Worst Memory

**Chapter 13 – The Aftermath of Snape's Worst Memory**

A month later, around the middle of March, winter was still in full-force.

Snape and Lily both took in the Daily Prophet every morning, and they both noted that the sudden absence of Death Eater headlines corresponded with the sudden absence of Dark Mark burns. While Snape didn't miss the pain, he had a bad feeling that while the world at large was probably breathing easier, Voldemort was up to something devious and would, no doubt, strike when least expected. Dumbledore agreed, but his presence seemed to be less welcome than ever at the Ministry. His unrelenting persistence to remain abreast of new developments and his continuous stream of suggestions were no longer seen as helpful, but rather, an attempt to undermine their operations and to expose them as inefficient.

Taking it with dignity, Dumbledore had not been to London as frequently, but still kept in constant contact with the Order.

On a cold and dark Saturday, Snape walked around the castle, searching for Lily. After roaming without success for nearly half an hour, he made his way to Dumbledore's study. As he strode the length of the hall, he saw Lily emerging from his office.

She smiled to him.

'Severus! I was just on my way down to see you.'

Together, they walked back to the dungeons, where Snape lit a fire before they sat down on a sofa with a glass of elfmade wine.

'So, another meeting with Dumbledore…' Snape said coolly.

Lily nodded stiffly. 'Yes.'

'You've been holed up with him an awful lot lately. Do you ever intend to tell me why you keep meeting with him?'

'Eventually,' she said without meeting his gaze.

Snape still did not seem satisfied.

'It has to be this way, Sev. Please trust me on this.'

'Fine,' he said.

Lily was silent for a moment before continuing. 'I will tell you this, though. One thing we've been discussing at great length is trying to get Sirius out of Azkaban.'

Snape's face went sour at this revelation. 'Black? Why would you want that pathetic excuse of a human being walking free?'

Lily was taken aback. 'Do you even care that he's innocent? Do you care that he was framed? He wasn't our Secret Keeper! Pettigrew was. He betrayed us! Sirius wasn't even near our house the week before…' her voice trailed off.

'Pettigrew is dead and only his finger was found. So good luck getting his name cleared from that. Innocent or not, where he is concerned, it makes no difference to me,' Snape said coldly.

'How can you say that?' Lily asked.

'How can you sit there and defend him?' Snape asked in a tone of mixed annoyance and disbelief. 'You and I started out on the same side as far Black and Potter were concerned. I slip up once – once! – and you go running into the arms of _James Potter_,' he lingered bitterly over his name. 'You bought into their pathetic attempts at decency even after they tried to kill me, after they humiliated me as regularly as they were sent to detention, and even after I apologized all over hell and back for what I said to you. But no, after I messed up, I was always second best to James Potter and his sidekick.' Snape was shaking with anger, and had to set his goblet aside.

Lily, meanwhile, sat with her head down, struggling against her own anger at hearing her husband being degraded. She wiped away her hot tears. 'Don't you _ever _speak about my husband like that again,' she said in a dangerous voice.

'Well how was I supposed to feel? You have _no idea_ what your rejection did to me. The lengths it drove me to…' he held out his left arm. It was still covered by his cloak, but Lily knew exactly what he meant.

'You have the audacity to sit there and blame _me_ for your choices?' she said, full of shock and rage.

'After what I said to you, I was willing to totally renounce the Dark Arts. But you never gave me the time of day after that. So what was the point?' he shook his head and lowered it, hiding his face from her behind his hair.

'I didn't force you join You-Know-Who! You could have chosen differently, no matter what my choices were.'

Snape shook his head, his face still hidden. 'I had lost the only person in the entire world who had ever meant anything to me.' He looked to her, his dark eyes glistening with emotion. 'Seeing you happy with Potter, learning of your engagement, receiving that cruel wedding invitation… I had nothing to lose,' Snape said. 'Nothing.'

'I didn't send you a wedding invitation,' Lily said, her brow furrowed.

Snape's expression immediately went blank, as though he had just had the wind knocked out of him.

'It appears that not even death can end the reign of Potter's cruelty.'

Without another word or backward glance, Snape stood up and walked from the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving Lily with a new appreciation for Snape, and a new, nagging twinge of resentment for the man she had married and had thought she knew.


	14. Chapter 14 – Lily’s Search for Answers

**Chapter 14 – Lily's Search for Answers **

Lily and Snape didn't see each other until the following day. Despite the sharp bite of the winter air, Snape donned his cloak and went outside.

It was a clear day, the sky unmarred by a single cloud. Sharp pains stabbed his eyes as he stepped into the light. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the painful shimmer of snow. Slowly, he began to walk, pointing his wand at the ground in front of him, melting a narrow path.

He hadn't even been outside for a minute when he heard his name.

'Severus?' the voice said cautiously.

He turned around to find Lily a short distance behind him, wearing a long coat, a blue hat and matching mittens. They both seemed to sense a gap between them since the exchange the night before.

'Hello, Lily,' he said indifferently. While he may have seemed aloof, he was glad to see her.

'Can I walk with you?' she asked hesitantly.

Snape nodded. She closed the distance between them, and they began to walk.

'I'm sorry about last night,' she said.

'Me too,' he said stiffly.

'I think there are a lot of things he did that I never knew about,' she said, and for the first time, acknowledging James's faults didn't cause a swell of emotion that threatened to overcome her.

'We really don't need to talk about this,' Snape said. 'It doesn't matter. You and I are never going to see eye to eye about it.'

Lily stared at her feet as she walked. 'I know that it doesn't change anything, but I am sorry for everything he did to you.'

Snape said nothing.

'And I'm sorry for turning my back on you. I was wrong. And I'm not saying this to take responsibility for your choices. I overreacted and I was angry.'

Snape was still silent.

'Can you forgive me?' Lily asked.

The sincerity with which she spoke made Snape's heart ache. Here she was, asking for his forgiveness, when it was he who was at fault. He considered her and her request. She watched him as he thought, walking ever onward, staring straight ahead.

'Under one condition,' Snape said, dreading the one devastating secret he still kept from her.

Lily nodded, her bright green eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

'Just remember that there may come a time when I will need your forgiveness, too.'

She studied him for a moment and finally said, 'Alright.'

'Then I forgive you,' Snape said, though not at all convinced that he was assured any kind of forgiveness as far as his secrets were concerned.

They walked on for a few more minutes in silence, both of them feeling relief that their disagreement had been rectified and had caused no lasting damage.

They walked along the edge of the Forest where they could escape the harsh sunlight and the stinging wind. Once again, they ended up by the lake. A razor sharp wind blew in off the water, nipping angrily at their exposed flesh.

Snape's hair was thrown back from his face by the wind's icy fingers. He stood, gazing into the distance where the edge of the lake met a mountain set against the sky. Lily gazed to him, taking in the stone expression he usually wore, even as a child, and the sloping line of his forehead that met the sharp angle of his long, prominent nose. She smiled at the familiarity it had always represented and the comfort she had come to know in his presence, and took his black-gloved hand in hers, entwining her fingers with his.

In that moment, something seemed to change. Though neither acknowledged it to the other, they both felt it, and they both understood it, even though its abstract nature had prevented them from defining the change in words. In that moment, they knew that no matter what obstacles came their way, they had built something special together, and their lives would never be the same because of it.

--

Snape assumed his regular seat at the Head Table for dinner that night. As Lily was a staff member as well in that she tutored struggling Potions students, she too, had been given a spot at the table, though Dumbledore thought it best that they not sit together. While the feeling was unanimous between the three of them, Snape still couldn't deny that this separation bothered him.

Snape had retired to the dungeons to mark his papers before classes the following morning. He had to admit that Lily had a way with the students, as Emery Palmer had barely kept his head above the coursework until she had devoted a few hours a week to helping him. He smiled as he read Emery's paper, and to show Lily his appreciation, he awarded Emery the highest grade he had ever earned in Snape's class.

He was nearly through the papers when he heard a knock on his door.

'Come in,' said Snape without looking up.

The door swung open and there stood Lily, a gleaming figure in a dark blue dress. Once Snape realized who it was, he looked up, his eyes widened a bit in his surprise as he took in the wonderful feast she was to his senses.

'Hi, Lily,' he said.

Lily closed the door behind her and sat down in the chair in front of his desk. She appeared conflicted.

'What's wrong?' Snape asked, pushing his quill aside.

'Nothing's wrong,' she said. 'But I have a question. I'm not sure I want the answer, but…' her voice trailed off, and she sighed heavily before continuing. 'Dumbledore won't give me a straight answer, but I think he knows. And I know you two talk a lot, so maybe you'll help me.'

'What's your question?' Snape asked.

Lily fumbled nervously with her fingers, her gaze downcast. 'What happened to my baby, Severus? Why did You-Know-Who come after us and kill him and James?'

Snape felt sick. He immediately made a mental note to ask Dumbledore why in the name of Sam Hill he had left this for him to deal with. Snape considered her, wondering just how much she ought to know.

'Well,' he began uncertainly, 'back in October of 1980, Sybill Trelawney gave what was, apparently, her first authentic prophecy.'

Snape had peaked her curiosity, and he could tell she wanted to know more. 'What? What kind of prophecy?'

Snape shifted his weight uncomfortably. 'It spoke of a boy born at the end of July to parents who had defied him three times who would have the power to destroy the Dark Lord.'

Lily said nothing and Snape considered his next words. 'That's why he came after your family.'

'How do you know all this?' she asked, her eyes filling with tears.

Snape wished for something – anything – to distract them. For the first time in living memory, he wished a student would appear at his door, but no one came. There was only silence, his racing heart, and her pain-filled eyes.

'Dumbledore told me. He was with Trelawney when she gave the prediction.'

Lily sat in deep thought for a moment. 'Did You-Know-Who know about this? Or are these things self-fulfilling?' Lily asked.

_Why, WHY do you have to be so perceptive?_ Snape thought angrily. He couldn't tell her the truth, not now. How could she ever understand that he had made such a monumental mistake that he wished he could take back? No matter how close they now were, he was sure he'd lose her again, and he couldn't bear it.

'I know he knew part of it. But, yes, these things are supposed to be self-fulfilling. There seems to be a slight problem with it, though. The terms were not fulfilled, and now that your son is… well, now that the one who supposedly had this power is gone, the prophecy is irrelevant,' Snape said. 'The entire premise of prophecies is seriously flawed, Lily. Too many things are in play for any one person to foresee anything with any degree of accuracy. I mean, really, half the time Trelawney can't even see what's right under her nose.'

Lily pondered his words, but instead of easing her worries, she ending up crying.

'So, you're telling me that maybe it wasn't even _real_? That James and Harry died for _nothing_? That their deaths were even _more_ pointless?' her voice rose unnaturally high as she struggled to speak through her emotion.

Snape had to look away from her. He would gladly go back and do it all over again to be able to change what he had done, so that she wouldn't have to suffer so cruelly. She cried, her tears ripping at Snape's soul. Eventually, they abated, and Snape looked to her.

'I'm so sorry, Lily, you have no idea how sorry I am. But we are going to get him. We've gotten rid of the Horcruxes; we will kill him in the end. A bastard like…like…Voldemort –' it was the first time he had called him anything other than "the Dark Lord" – 'won't come out on top. He will pay for all the pain he's caused, for all the lives he's destroyed.'

Lily nodded as she wiped her cheeks.

'Why did you turn against him?'

He cleared his throat before replying. 'He called a meeting with us – the Death Eaters, that is – about a week before… he showed up at your home. He said that he had decided to whom the prophecy referred, and he announced that he'd attack on Halloween, since the forces of magic are believed to be heightened on that day. Someone – Lucius, I believe it was – asked him who he was targeting. His answer was "the Potters". I got away as soon as I could and went to Dumbledore, and he agreed to hide you all with the Fidelus charm.'

Lily looked at him as though she had never seen him properly before. 'You're the one who warned Dumbledore?'

'Yes.'

She smiled weakly. 'We – James had asked him who had given him the heads-up, but Dumbledore refused to tell us who it was.'

They sat in silence for a moment before Snape said, 'It was the least I could do.'

She continued to stare at him with a quiet sense of awe. 'Thank you.'

Snape shook his head. 'It's a moot point. He still found you.'

But they had already discussed that the night before with less than pleasant tangents being the result.

'Why didn't he kill me? I put up the biggest fight. I don't think James even had his wand at the time.'

Snape sat in silence for a moment. What would she think if she knew he had asked Voldemort to spare her, and had not given a second thought to her son or her husband? Snape thought his way through several ways of answering her, but each of them would suggest he knew more than he was letting on.

'I don't know,' he replied.

Snape straightened the pile of papers on his desk.

'Why didn't the Aurors ever find Harry?' asked Lily.

Snape wasn't sure how much more of these terrible questions he could handle. He gazed into her face, and decided that he wouldn't lie to her. Not this time.

'Before you regained your memory, he called us all to a meeting at the Riddle Manor. He had your son with him –' her eyes filled with tears and her chin began to tremble '– and he destroyed his body in some disgusting and twisted ritual that made him out to be this great indestructible figure.'

Lily completely broke down at this revelation, and Snape rounded the desk, crouching down beside her. She leaned into him, sobbing into this robes, and Snape held her tightly. It pained him that his words had brought her to tears once again.

There was nothing that Snape could say to ease her grief, so he gently smoothed her hair and rubbed her back as she cried, as a gesture of his compassion and his willingness to stay with her until she was ready to find her way out of the torrent of emotion that had her in its cruel grip.

Some time later, Lily lifted her head from his shoulder. Her eyes were red and swollen, her skin stained in the raw sting of sadness. He looked to her, wanting to speak, but at a complete loss for words. She was a breathtaking sight even in her sorrow. While he wanted to help her forget about her pain, and he was more than ready to explore that path, he knew it was still too soon.


	15. Chapter 15 – The HalfBlood Prince

**Chapter 15 – The Half-Blood Prince**

His final class of the following day had come to an end. The horde of fifth years had finally cleared out of his classroom, leaving Snape, at last, to tend to a matter that had been nagging him constantly since his conversation with Lily the previous evening.

He made his way to Dumbledore's office, and was delighted that he was there.

'Severus,' said Dumbledore cheerfully when he opened the door.

'Good afternoon, Dumbledore,' Snape said stiffly.

'What brings you here?' he asked, though his tone suggested amusement. He sat at ease behind his desk.

'It seems Lily has been asking you for information regarding the Dark Lord's reason for targeting her family,' Snape said.

'Yes, she has been rather inquisitive about that as of late,' Dumbledore said, as though the matter was of no importance.

'Why did you deny her the information?' Snape asked.

'Am I to assume she came to you with her curiosity?'

'She most certainly did! And I certainly did not enjoy being backed into a corner like that, especially when it could have been avoided by you simply answering her in the first place,' Snape said hotly. 'Why did you deny her the answers she sought?'

Dumbledore sighed. 'I have my reasons.'

Snape scoffed. 'As vague as ever in your intentions.'

'My intentions, Severus, while often deeply misunderstood, are quite clear. How did your conversation with Lily go, by the way?'

'Well, it could have been a lot worse. But that made it no less a burden I could have done without.'

'Which is precisely why I refused to answer her questions,' Dumbledore said.

Snape frowned.

'Her burden needs to be shared, but not with me. With you. Don't underestimate the power that sharing these matters can have on two people such as yourselves,' Dumbledore said calmly.

Snape furrowed his brow, causing an even deeper crease to form between his eyes. 'What does that even mean?'

'It means,' said Dumbledore, standing up and walking over to Fawkes, 'that there is a long-standing and ever growing connection between Lily Potter and yourself. Every reassurance she can have from you, every question that only you can answer, every moment of joy or sorrow that you two can share, is another thread in the tapestry of your renewed friendship, and from what I gather, perhaps something even deeper.'

Snape said nothing for a moment as he watched Dumbledore speak softly to the phoenix. 'What do you and Lily discuss?'

'We are attempting to secure Sirius Black's release from Azkaban,' Dumbledore said without looking up.

'Besides that. I know there's more.'

'Well, you are quite right, Severus, and I am sure you will find out in due course. But in the meantime, I'm afraid I cannot answer you.'

Dumbledore walked over to his bookshelf and removed a small white envelope from between two books. He handed it to Snape.

'Give this to Lily. I think she will appreciate it.' And with that, Dumbledore resumed his place at his desk, and Snape considered himself dismissed.

Snape found Lily in the staff room, reading a sixth year Potions text. From the looks of it, the book had been through a lot.

She saw him enter, and looked up. Her face broke into a grin.

'Hey Sev, come here. Look what I found.'

Snape sat down beside her. He looked at the book she was reading and immediately recognized it.

'Where did you get that?' he asked.

'I was looking for an extra book so I could help Jason Dempsey with your latest assignment and it fell out of the cupboard. I saw the inscription on the back –' she flipped to the inside back cover '– and I knew it was yours.'

He noticed his own handwriting in the margins of the text, how he had crossed out Libatius Borage's directives in favour of his own more effective methods. He was reminded of all the times he had nearly knocked Slughorn out of his seat with his final results, and how he and Lily had been in a sort of unofficial competition as the emerging Potions prodigy of their year, despite the fact that Lily had refused to even acknowledge his existence by that time.

Lily continued to leaf through it, his teenaged manner of writing flashing before his eyes. 'Why did you keep it in the cupboard? Why not your library?'

'I didn't know it was in the cupboard,' Snape said. 'It was stolen from me – by Black, no less – before the end of the sixth year, and I never got it back.'

Lily settled on a page about sedative potions. Snape's body gave an internal jolt as he noticed the Sectumsempra spell scrawled in the corner of the page. Lily's eyes roved the text, but her eyes, too, were drawn to the spell.

'I've seen a lot of spells in here I've never heard of,' she said, pointing to Sectumsempra. 'Did you come up with them?'

'Some of them,' said Snape.

Lily stared at the word for an unusually long moment, her brow knitted in concentration. She tapped a nail on the page beneath the word.

'I've heard of this before,' she said, 'but I can't remember where…'

Snape went rigid in his chair, hoping her memory wouldn't betray him. But slowly a look of horror drifted across her expression. She couldn't seem to be able to bring herself to look at Snape.

'That night,' said Lily. 'He said it that night. That's what he did to me, all those cuts you healed…' she looked at her arms, even though there wasn't a trace of a scar left from the incident.

'Where did you find this spell? And why did you copy it down?' Lily asked.

Snape tore his gaze from her and settled them firmly upon the page. 'I didn't copy it from anywhere,' he confessed flatly. 'I invented it.'

Only when he finished speaking did he look back to Lily. She looked at him in disgust.

'You invented it?' she repeated, as though to make sure she had understood.

He nodded, his face burning with shame.

'Don't tell me you gave it to You-Know-Who…' she said, her voice desperate.

A flame of self-hatred seared his insides. 'As part of initiation, every Death Eater is to contribute something that will increase the group's power in some way. I offered that spell.'

She shook her head. 'Do you have any idea how much damage you've done?'

Snape scowled. 'You can't begin to imagine the damage I've done,' he said bitterly. 'I am well aware of what I've done, and I would appreciate not being reminded of it.'

Snape took a deep breath in attempt to cool his anger.

'You might also consider that after I saw the damage the Dark Lord had with it the first time he used it, I took the time to invent the counter-curse, which constitutes a great part of the reason you have not suffered any lasting damage from your encounter with my own stupidity.'

Snape sat in silence, hiding his face from Lily by tilting his head forward and letting his long hair dangle haphazardly about him.

'Just when I think I have some kind of grasp on who you are, I learn something new about you,' Lily said. She sounded neither angry nor pleased, but rather like someone who was clearly puzzled. She sighed heavily and shifted her weight to face him. 'There are evil and destructive people in this world, and there are healers who commit their lives to undoing the damage of those destroyers. Most of us are a relatively benign cross between the two. But I once read somewhere that only an exceptional spirit can begin as a destroyer, see the error of their ways, turn their lives around, and heal the damage of their own creation.'

Snape looked to her, clearly surprised by her words.

'I believe you are one of those people.'

He smiled weakly, and so did she.

Lily closed the Potions text and stood up, patting his shoulder as she passed behind him.

'Where are you going in such a hurry?' he asked, not ready to lose her company.

She stopped at the door. 'Well, for the next hour, I've got tutoring to do.'

Snape nodded. 'I have something for you. Come see me when you're done. You know where to find me.'

She nodded and left, and as Snape sat there, he wondered what was inside the envelope Dumbledore had given him. He removed it from his pocket, and decided not to open it. Stuffing it back in his robes, he considered Lily's rather unexpected words to him, and the fact that she said she had read them somewhere. An interesting thought occurred to him then, and he decided to go to the library to see if he could find a second copy of the book Dumbledore had lent to her.


	16. Chapter 16 – Lily’s Request

**Chapter 16 – Lily's Request**

Snape's search of the library proved futile, and as the hour came to a close, he found his way back to his office. He sat down in his chair in his room, straining to hear Lily's approaching footsteps.

It wasn't long before he heard the door open. Lily entered and sat down in the second chair. 'I think Jason should be able to pull off the Calming Potion on Friday,' Lily said happily

'For his sake, I hope you're right,' Snape sneered.

'You're not going to give him detention if he fails, are you?'

'Cleaning cauldrons without the use of magic builds character,' he replied seriously.

'I think all the students who are struggling are just so intimidated by you that they can't perform. They all do fairly well with me,' Lily said.

'If you want my job, you are more than welcome to it,' Snape said. 'But until then, I set the standards in my classroom, and those who don't like it will just have to deal with it.'

Lily studied him. He didn't seem angry, rather simply firm in his convictions.

'What is it you have for me?' Lily asked.

Snape groped in his pocket for the envelope and handed it to Lily. Taking it slowly from him, she broke the seal on the back and withdrew the contents.

Lily's face lit up as she looked at seven photographs of her, James, and Harry. 'Where did you get these?' she asked.

'Dumbledore,' Snape said.

'Where did he get them?'

'I didn't ask, he didn't tell.'

Lily looked through them several times before placing them back in the envelope. Her eyes held a hint of tears, but she did not cry. 'Thanks for bringing these to me.'

Snape nodded. 'You're welcome. I assume those were photographs of you and… your family.'

She nodded. 'Dumbledore said nothing could be salvaged from our home. I wonder where he got them.'

'I imagine he contacted people you know and asked for photos,' said Snape.

Lily seemed satisfied by his explanation.

'Speaking of mysteries,' Snape said, 'could you tell me about _Innate Magic_?'

Lily was momentarily taken aback. 'How do you know about that?'

'I saw it one day when you were sleeping in the hospital. I only saw the cover,' Snape said. 'Why did he give it to you?'

Lily cleared her throat. 'Because he thought I should read it.'

Snape studied her.

'Why do you want to know about it, anyway?' she asked.

Snape sighed. 'Just some of the things you and Dumbledore have said to me. You two are up to something, and I have a feeling that it has something to do with that book.'

Lily closed her eyes. 'Severus, it's not time yet.'

Snape rolled his eyes.

Lily saw the gesture. 'No, please. Trust me on this. Yes, Dumbledore and I are talking, and yes, some of it has to do with that book. But please. I promise I will tell you about it when the time is right.'

'And when will that be, exactly?' asked Snape.

Lily smiled faintly. 'Not too much longer, I hope.'

--

April was now upon them, and the snow had finally begun to melt. Snape and Lily had been spending their evenings atop the Astronomy Tower, rather then being cooped up in his dark and cold dungeon as they had been all winter.

'What do you think he's doing?' Lily asked, referring to Voldemort. The Mark had not burned in over two weeks now, and Lily, Snape, and Dumbledore had begun to worry.

'I don't like it,' replied Snape. 'Dumbledore's been talking to Moody, and he said Lucius has stopped going into the Ministry. There hasn't been sight of a Death Eater anywhere.'

'Do you think maybe he's given up trying to seize the Ministry?'

'No, he's refining his plan. The Dark Lord has never been one to back down, especially if the end result will put him in a position of power over the entire wizarding world.'

'That's a scary thought,' Lily said.

Snape nodded. 'I know.'

Lily gazed into the inky black sky and all the infinite pinpricks of starlight that escaped from behind the cloak of night. Snape had noticed that she had seemed preoccupied long before the conversation had shifted to Voldemort.

Snape stood behind her, whispering into her ear.

'What's wrong, Lily?'

She shivered as his words drifted across her skin. 'Nothing's wrong, Sev. I've just been thinking about Harry. And James.'

Lily sensed him pull back a bit, and she quickly said, 'Don't be angry. I've been… considering something… for a while now, and well… it's hard not to think about them.'

'What are you talking about?' Snape asked.

Lily turned around so that they were face to face. She took a deep breath and finally met his gaze. His dark eyes glittered in the dim light. She reached up and brushed a stray strand of black hair out of his face.

'I want to ask you something.'

'Okay, ask away,' Snape said.

'Sev,' she said, but she seemed to lose her nerve.

Snape took hold of her shoulders. 'Lily, it's only me,' he said gently, a smile playing with the corners of his mouth. 'We've known each other for years. Just say it.'

'Okay,' she said, steeling herself. 'I want to ask you if I can… spend the night with you.'

Snape was struck dumb for a moment. After a moment, he finally found his voice again. 'You want to spend the night with me?'

She nodded. 'But I understand if you don't want me there. I know how you like your space. We don't have to do anything. It gets so lonely in the teacher's dorm and sometimes I wake up and want nothing more than for you to be there.' She spoke quickly, as though she needed to get it all out in a single breath before she lost her courage.

Snape smiled. 'I never had you figured for the type to sleep with professors,' he said playfully.

Lily smiled too, clearly relieved that he wasn't put out by her request.

Snape dropped his gaze and his smile faded a few shades. 'It appears we both suffer the same nightly affliction.'

They stood together in silence for a moment, both as two lonely people who wanted to know another level of comfort from the other, and as best friends reunited after having lost so much because of a single Dark wizard.

'Were you actually worried I'd say no?' asked Snape.

She shrugged. 'No, not really.' Lily dropped her gaze. 'Like I said, it's hard not to think about James and Harry and the fact that we were a family at a time like this.'

Snape nodded solemnly, and even though he hoped James wouldn't be a recurring topic of conversation, he understood how she would be feeling apprehensive of letting go of something she thought she would have forever.


	17. Chapter 17 – Innate Magic, Part 1

**Chapter 17 – Innate Magic, Part 1**

The rest of the week passed in a brighter light since that night on the Astronomy Tower. Not even the exploding cauldron and the ensuing chaos in second year Potions on Thursday afternoon got him as riled as it would have under normal circumstances, although his punishments were no less severe. And much to his delight, Emery Palmer gave an unprecedented performance brewing the Calming Potion

'I told you he could do it,' Lily said to Snape late Friday evening, after the monthly staff conference had finally ended. They were sitting in his room by the fire. 'He just needed to practice in a relaxed atmosphere.'

'Like I said before, my job is yours if you want it,' he said. 'I think I'd be happier working alone at the apothecary, brewing industry grade potions. I hear they pay quite well.'

'All that time spent alone would turn you into a weird old man,' Lily said.

'Better to be weird and alone than be stuck here surrounded by the foul stench of youth and end up loopy.'

'The foul stench of youth?' Lily asked, eyeing him incredulously. 'We're only twenty-two, Sev. If youth stinks, we aren't any better than the students.'

Snape sighed and stared into the small fire he had lit in the grate. 'I guess certain experiences have a way of making a person feel older than they actually are.'

Lily, who was sitting across the way from him in a long blue nightdress, narrowed her eyes a bit at his words.

'I know there are times when I just feel so disconnected from everything,' Snape said. 'But it's how I learned to survive… out there. To shut down any feelings, good or bad. To become blank so there would be no pain.'

Lily sat in silence, taking in his every word. Snape had never before volunteered information about what it was like to be a Death Eater, and she felt a mixture of both honour and sympathy.

'What exactly is Who-Know-Who's problem anyway?' Lily asked. 'I know he's all for Pure-blood supremacy, but why?'

Snape sat back in his chair. 'Dumbledore and I have discussed this at great length. He's got a lot of information about the Dark Lord's past, and I'll be damned if I can figure out where he got it. But it seems that the Dark Lord was always peculiar, even as a child. Manipulative. Secretive. Vengeful. Tom Riddle – which was his birth name – was raised in an orphanage. His mother, a descendent of Salazar Slytherin, died soon after she gave birth to him in 1926. She had been hopelessly in love with a Muggle man – Tom Riddle Senior – and had enslaved him by means of a love potion.'

Lily's eyes were riveted to Snape as he spoke. She was clearly fascinated.

Snape continued. 'Tom was conceived while his father was still under the spell, and Dumbledore believes that this alone had a profound impact on who he became. He was not conceived in love, therefore he had something missing in him from the very start. Soon after his mother discovered she was pregnant, she lifted the spell from Riddle, believing he loved her enough to stay for the child's sake. But he left her and his son, and never saw them again until Tom was about fifteen or sixteen. He tracked down his father and murdered him, along with his grandparents, for abandoning him. Dumbledore reckons it's probably the fact that his father was a Muggle that brought about this Pure-blood mania in him, and he dropped his father's name and created this new identity that everyone fears.'

Lily was mesmerized. 'It's odd to think of him being a child once,' she said.

'It also makes a person wonder about Dumbledore's unwavering stance of love being the greatest of all forces. Look at what the absence of it can do to a person. Imagine what could happen in an opposite situation,' Snape remarked.

Lily smiled. 'Well, we _have_ had a glimpse of what can happen.'

Snape tilted his head as he looked at her.

'Consider some of the things you've told me,' Lily said. 'You said that when I ended our friendship that you had nothing left to lose and you went off to become a Death Eater, but you also said that the moment you found out You-Know-Who was hunting us you risked your life and went to Dumbledore and you never looked back. And then you told me you invented Sectumsempra, but that you came to regret it and created the counter spell to heal the damage.'

Snape considered her words before finally saying, 'Maybe that's why Dumbledore always looks at me like he knows something about me that I've yet to fully figure out.'

Snape smiled, his gaze lingered on Lily. She was cast in the balmy glow of the fire, and Snape was overcome with a powerful urge to be near her.

'Come here,' he whispered, rising to his feet.

Lily rose from her chair and crossed the short distance to Snape. He drew her close against him, and she brushed his hair out of his face as her eyes met with the dark orbs that were his. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his.

They stood there for several long moments before their legs carried them from their spot by the fire back to his bed. Together they sat down, and they drew apart. Snape's heart pounded frantically beneath his ribs, his body growing warm with anticipation.

Lily stared at him wordlessly, almost as though trying to make up her mind about something. Snape, feeling he had a part to play in reassuring her, said, 'Lily, I'm not expecting anything. I…' he stopped, knocked off course by the gravity of finally putting his feelings into words. 'I love you. I always have.'

Lily smiled, and her expression became what Snape imagined someone would look like after having been lost her entire life, and had now found her way home.

She said nothing in response, but raised her hands and began to unfasten the top button of his frock. He sat still, watching her as her nimble fingers slipped each black button through the slit of fabric, until she had reached the last one. Snape's throat seemed constricted; his breathing was rendered shallow by the fierce yearning that was building inside him.

Lily slipped her hands beneath the cloak and pushed it back off his shoulders and lost no time in undoing the buttons of the white shirt than ran the length of his chest.

Though the room was certainly far from cold with the fire crackling merrily in the hearth, Snape shivered as the air met his pale skin. Lily pushed the shirt back, and Snape lifted his arms out of it, abandoning it on the floor.

Lily's eyes were immediately drawn to the ugly Mark that had been seared deeply into his left forearm. He had never shown anyone the Mark, and for a moment, Lily seemed to lose her nerve. She stared at it with a mixed expression of fear and pity, at the long black outline of the snake protruding from the skull's mouth and the angry scar that had been left around its edges. Snape was reminded horribly how much it had cost him, and he quickly turned his arm inward to hide it.

At this, Lily seemed to come out of her trance. Her eyes met his, but his eyes immediately fell to her left hand, to the finger that still boasted the gold ring that connected her with James. He had noticed it every time she was with him, and he had been determined to ignore it. But he couldn't push it from his mind. Not now.

He looked back at her as he slowly took the metal between his thumb and forefinger and slid it slowly off her finger. He expected her to stop him, but it eased over her skin and at last, he held it in his hand, and placed it on the bedside stand. She shifted her weight on the bed, turning her back to him and sweeping her hair to one side.

Snape began to unfasten the back of her nightdress. A long trail of buttons one by one opened up to reveal the smooth curve of her back. Snape slipped his hands under the dress and pushed it over her shoulders and down her arms. He kissed her shoulder, slowly working his way up to her neck, which she willing arched to the other side, allowing him to savour her skin.

She pulled the dress over her, and it joined the abandoned clothes on the floor.

She turned back to face him, and appeared completely comfortable in her vulnerability. His eyes hungrily devoured her, his gaze tracing the falling line of her shoulder to the tender swell of her breast and the dark flesh at its tip, on down the middle of her stomach to the whisper of white lace that rested just below her hips.

She rolled forward and smiled, unfastening the clasp of his black pants, which had become noticeably strained.

Snape stood up, discarding his remaining clothes on the floor. He placed a knee on the bed, and Lily eased herself back onto the sheets. He curled his fingers under the lace on each side of her hips and slowly drew the last remaining barrier away from her skin.

Had Snape's skin not been covered in a thin sheen of sweat and had he not felt such a strong desire to, at long last, unite with the beautiful creature beneath him, he would have believed he had fallen out of reason and was now roaming breathlessly through some magnificent dream.

Lily parted her legs slowly, begging him closer. He settled between her knees, leaning over her heaving chest to kiss her again. She moved gently in response to the warmth of his mouth, sighing softly as he swirled his fiery tongue around a nipple before closing his lips around it.

He couldn't get enough of her, the sweet smell of her soft skin, and he explored as much of her with his tongue as he could. She eased the fingers of one hand through his raven hair as he kissed the insides of her legs.

'Severus…' she whispered.

Snape lifted his head and met her gaze.

'I love you.'

His breath caught in his chest, and finally, he righted himself, and slowly, he pressed himself into her. Their gazes were locked, and he watched as her eyes opened wide and slowly fluttered closed. A deep moan of exhilaration escaped from her.

The room swam before Snape's eyes. The light from the fire was like a long glowing beam. Sounds were distorted and seemed so far from him. He had never known anything that felt this good, this incredibly intense and hopelessly intoxicating. Gently, he eased himself back before pushing forward again, savouring the explosive pleasure as every inch of himself disappeared within her dark, hot, and altogether welcoming mystery.

Lily reached up and gripped his arms, and he felt the pinch as her nails pierced his skin.

Snape, with closed eyes, groaned heavily, unable to suppress the sounds that were building inside him. He had imagined this moment a million times and in a million different ways, but never had his mind been able to prepare him for the magnitude of the real thing.

They moved together for what Snape thought was all too short a moment when he felt his own release threatening to consume him. Against his will, he stopped moving and withdrew from her, breathing heavily.

She lifted her head to look at him. 'Why did you stop?' she asked, not hiding the longing in her voice.

'I don't want it to be over yet.'

Lily smiled and sat up to kiss him, though quickly abandoned his lips in favour of tasting the salty sheen of sweat that covered his body.

Her hot gentle tongue licked in long, maddeningly satisfying strokes along his neck, from the hollow of his neck to the lobe of his ear, which sent a swift and pleasurable shiver through him.

After a moment, Lily pushed him gently back onto the sheets where she had been. Lifting one leg so she was straddling his hips, she gradually eased herself down, willingly impaling herself on the delicious pillar of hot flesh.

Her body arched against him, her mouth opening to let a sigh drift past her lips. Snape placed his hands on her hips and they moved together. Lily seemed to know exactly when to increase her pace and when to slow down, and what little variations on her movements sent his mind and body into the furthest realms of imaginable ecstasy.

Time had lost all meaning. They were the only two people in the world in those moments, and as Snape watched her move above him, he imagined that in that sacred communion, part of their souls had forever been bonded. He wondered where the idea had come from, but it was a thought that comforted him. Several times he felt himself nearing the edge of a climax that lingered anxiously on the fringes of his consciousness, but he repelled it with his mind, hanging on for as long as he possibly could.

Snape watched as Lily's expression would change as she moved, how a crease would appear between her eyes, and then fade away and she would gently bite her bottom lip, and how her eyes would open and close.

After an endlessly beautiful moment, Lily opened her eyes and peered into Snape's, her body trembling against his as she came upon her release. The sight of her writhing in the throes of pleasure and the exquisite sounds that escaped from her sent him over the edge, and he too, tumbled headlong into his own dizzying climax.

They collapsed in each other's arms, too breathless to speak, and both seemed to realize that there were no words worthy of the moment. Slowly, their breathing evened out and their pulses calmed, and within moments, they had fallen asleep.


	18. Chapter 18 – Innate Magic, Part 2

**Chapter 18 – Innate Magic, Part 2**

Snape woke up to find Lily gone. He remained still as his senses attempted to catch up with the rest of him, allowing a sudden flow of memories from the night before to wash over him. He smelled the sweet, lingering scent of her hair on the pillow. He slowly lifted his head and looked around, wondering where she had gone.

Lily had picked his clothes up off the floor and folded them on the end of his bed. He quickly got dressed and was about to leave for the Great Hall when he noticed it lying on table just inside the door.

_Innate Magic._

He picked it up and opened it. A square piece of paper fell out. Snape retrieved it. It read:

_Sev, I'm sorry I had to leave so early. I need to see Dumbledore about Sirius. You've wanted to look at this book for a while now, so here it is. I was instructed to give it to you only when we came to the point of being able to tell each other how we really feel.  
__Lily_

There was a small heart after her name. Snape pocketed her note and, deciding he could do without breakfast, relit the fire and settled into his chair.

The book must have been at least fifty years old. The pages were yellowed, but as he skimmed through it, he noticed that many passages were underlined in fresh ink, and notes had been scribbled in the margins in what he recognized as Lily's handwriting. Flipping back to the beginning, he began to read the underlined parts.

The first few lines of a chapter called 'The Joy of Laughter' were marked._ Connecting with another through laughter is one of the most fundamental and easiest ways to bond. It is one of the most effective ways to find common ground on which to base a relationship…_

Snape was reminded of how often he and Lily had laughed, especially as children when they had gone off alone into the nearby forest beyond the reach of his everyday life, and how they had always had a private friendly rivalry that was always good for a laugh.

Beneath a chapter called 'The Little Things' Lily had underlined:_ Eye contact, skin-to-skin contact (i.e. holding hands), and innumerable simple, often overlooked acts of love and affection are all part of forming a solid foundation of trust and love…_

Snape noticed that Lily had written in ink just below that paragraph, _'kissing away tears.' _He smiled as he remembered that night, and was touched that his act had been deemed important enough to write down.

Several more chapters had passed without the touch of ink, until he came to 'The Joy of Friendship in Times of Grief'._ Having a trusted friend to whom you can talk will ease the road to accepting the loss of a loved one…_

Beneath a chapter called** '**The Power to Love is the Power to Change', Lily had underlined:_ …only an exceptional spirit can begin as a destroyer, see the error of their ways, turn their lives around, and heal the damage of their own creation.'_

Snape's mind immediately strayed to the staff room where Lily had said these very same words to him. He smiled, pleased that he had been in right when he guessed her words had come from this book.

Chapter sixteen,** '**Reunion After Estrangement', caught his attention._ This act in particular has the greatest chance of providing two people with a chance to heal old wounds and create an even stronger relationship the second time around, especially if the two people in question were very young they met for the first time…the more you must overcome together and the deeper the wounds that need to be healed, the deeper love can flow within you…_

Snape seemed to linger over this chapter longer than the previous ones. Eventually, he found his way to a chapter called** '**The Merging of Souls'._ For ages the metaphor has been used as a way of describing the truly blissful magic that sex can be. However, it is only truly accomplished when one (sometimes, though rarely, both) people experience the sense that it has happened. Oftentimes, someone will later report that they seemed suspended for a moment and the concept crossed their minds. It is a fairly uncommon occurrence. Current research shows that only one couple in every 100,000 experience it. While the pair does not have to be virgins, the merging of souls can only occur during the couple's first encounter, and can only occur with one person throughout one's lifetime…_

Despite the warmth of the room, Snape's skin was a mass of goose bumps He had had a moment when they were together that matched the occurrence described in the book.Not only had Lily underlined the passage, she had placed an asterisk beside it. He continued reading.

_While the merging of souls is not necessary to have a deep and fulfilling relationship, it tends to occur between people who have had to work though their own issues together and who have come to some place of peace in their similarities and an acceptance of their differences. The merging of souls is the merging of these similarities. It represents the culmination of love that may have been years in the making, and cannot be severed. It can be ignored, tested, and buried by the remaining differences between the two, but it cannot be broken. While the bond is still not fully understood, it can be said that such people have been known to survive acts of hate, violence, and torture when, by all rights, they shouldn't have._

The following chapter was called 'The Necessity of Conflict'._ People need to share their raw emotions to create healthy conflict in their relationships. Conflict in itself is not a bad thing; what matters is how two people deal with it. Without conflict, a relationship is essentially one-dimensional and superficial, and can never attain the true depth of intimacy that can only be forged through the tension and ultimate path to accepting the innate and acquired differences that exist between two people…_

Snape was reminded of all their arguments about James and Sirius, and how, in the end, they had reconciled without giving in to the other and compromising themselves.

A chapter near the end was called '_Protego Amorus – _The Power of Love in a Crisis'. While no lines were underlined, the chapter title was highlighted in the sparkling blue ink he had only ever seen Dumbledore use

_The Protego Amorus, commonly known as the Lover's Shield, is a spell that is placed upon two people in a moment when their lives are in danger. Clasping right hands, both must say the incantation aloud. But that alone is not enough. The power of magic that is summoned is directly proportional to the depth of love and wisdom within the hearts and souls of the two in question. The spell was designed to work only under the conditions of mutual trust, unconditional love, the embracing their own mortality, and the faith to willingly walk into the danger unarmed, fully accepting that both my die as a result. As of this writing, there are no documented reports that this spell has ever been effectively performed. This may be due, in part, by the fact that few people are able to place the protection upon themselves when the time calls for it, but it is theorized that the pair must be soul-bonded for the spell to be successful… _

Lily had added a question mark in the margin beside the last line, and had written the words, '_Ask_ _Dumbledore_'.

Snape was nearing the end of the book when he happened upon a chapter heading titled, 'The Necessity of Truth'. He felt a slight sinking feeling as he read these words. Though nothing was underlined, he began to read:

_Truth, like love, can be both a beautiful and terrible thing. But unlike love, truth can be destructive. However, the deepest expression of love cannot exist in the absence of truth. Secrets are divisive… the concealment of crucial information within one's soul, even if done to protect the other, to spare him or her pain, will turn into poison over time, and will undermine the entire foundation of love and trust. The deeper the secrets and the greater the risk in revealing it, the more crucial it is to confess… _

Snape closed the book. The words echoed in all the corners of his mind, taunting him in the one thing he could not bring himself to tell her. Based on everything he had read, he knew the moment was coming fast when he would have to put it on the line and tell her it was his fault Voldemort knew of the prophecy. Sure, Lily had commended him for trying to undo the harm he had done, but felt sick at the prospect of telling her it was his fault her world had been shattered. Snape wasn't hungry anymore, and had totally forgotten that he had been on his way to breakfast.

He sat for a long time, simply staring at the aged cover. While his most immediate worry was the writer's stance on truth, his mind slowly drifted to the _Protego Amorus_ chapter. Why had that chapter been important enough for Dumbledore to draw attention to it? A deep feeling of unease settled upon Snape, and he wondered what Dumbledore knew that he didn't.

--

Some time later, Lily returned. Snape hadn't moved from the chair.

'I thought you'd be here,' she said. 'McGonagall said you didn't show up at breakfast.'

Seeing her again for the first time since the night before pushed the book and its contents momentarily out of his mind. She sat down in her usual place, her hair drawn up in a long ponytail, the end of which rested gracefully on one shoulder.

Lily's eyes immediately fell to the book resting on his lap.

'Why couldn't you have just told me about this?' Snape asked, indicating the book. 'Why did it have to be such a secret?'

Lily sighed. 'I wanted to tell you about it. Dumbledore and I got into some rather heated disagreements about it. But he insisted that I not tell you anything.'

'Why, though?'

'He told me that you needed to come out of what he calls "Death Eater Numbness". Like you were telling me last night, how you feel disconnected and blank.'

'Why couldn't he have helped me himself if it mattered so much?' Snape asked, not enjoying having been a blind pawn in one of Dumbledore's schemes.

'He wanted me to get you to come around naturally, without knowing that you were being healed,' Lily explained. 'He did it for you as much as he did it for me, Sev. He seemed to think that by helping you, I'd be able to recover better from my own losses. And as crazy as I thought it was for suggesting it, Dumbledore was right.'

'Why aren't there any copies of this book in the library?' Snape asked. 'I went looking and even Madam Pince had never heard of it.'

'There's only one copy of the book. Dumbledore wrote it a long time ago.'

Snape was surprised at this, that he had been reading Dumbledore's words.

'Did you read chapter twenty-two?' Lily asked tentatively after a moment of silence.

Snape flipped through the contents page until his eyes found the chapter – The Merging of Souls.

'Yes, I read parts of it,' he said.

'Dumbledore told me not to read that chapter unless you and I ever came to the point where we were ready to be together, and only after it happened was I permitted to read it.'

Snape turned red at the thought of Dumbledore being involved, no matter how indirectly, with his sexuality. Lily noticed his embarrassment and said, 'Don' worry, Sev. He doesn't want details or anything like that. But I read that chapter this morning quickly before I went to see Dumbledore, because I was so curious to find out why I had been forbidden to read it…' she dropped her gaze, fumbling absently with the bottom of her shirt. 'Did you feel it?'

'Feel what?' he pressed, though he was fairly confident he knew what she was referring to.

'That moment. Like we were the same person. That we had, indeed, merged our souls. I know the book said it's rare, but I felt it.' Snape was moved by the conviction in her voice. 'That's why I wasn't allowed to read it. We had to go into it without expecting it to happen, without being influenced into believing it had happened.'

Snape stared at her in disbelief. 'I felt it,' he said quietly. 'For a moment, the idea came into my mind, just as the book described.'

Lily smiled, her eyes lit up.

'But what does it mean?' Snape asked.

'I told Dumbledore about it –' Snape reddened again '– and he said it means you and I are what Muggles call soul mates. We have a bond that was born when we met as children and now, after everything, the bond is fully formed.'

Snape tried to absorb her words. Lily, whom he had loved and cherished for years, was his soul mate?'

'But you married Potter,' Snape said, surprised that the words didn't sting as much as usual. 'You were with him for five years. How can we have this bond if, at one point, you had promised yourself to someone else?'

Lily sighed. 'Just as the book says, if it is to happen, it can only happen once, and only between the two people involved. For example, had it happened between James and I, it wouldn't have occurred between us. The chances of it happening are so rare. It's kind of overwhelming… but since it happened with us, it means you never had the experience before… and neither did I.'

Snape's heart was beating faster as she spoke, as her words weaved before him more than he had ever dared hope for.

He lowered his gaze, staring at the book as he spoke. 'How you feel about that?'

Lily smiled weakly. 'It's not easy to describe. I never knew such a thing could happen. It's not something that needs to happen to have a wonderful relationship, but now that it has happened, it's… indescribable. And that it happened with you is something I never would have guessed, but I am delighted that it has. You're my best friend, Sev. It just feels like it fits.'

Snape looked to her, feeling such a peace and stillness within him for the first time in his life that he had to remind himself to breathe.

'What about chapter thirty-three? _Protego Amorus?_' he asked after a moment. 'What's this all about?'

'I don't know,' Lily said.

'But it's the only one marked in Dumbledore's ink,' he said.

Lily nodded and said, 'Don't ask me to fathom how Dumbledore's mind works.'

'That's serious magic,' he said, rereading the passage about the spell. 'Have you asked him why this is so important?'

'Yes.'

'And?'

'I never got an answer out of him,' Lily said.

Snape shook his head, having had much frustrating personal experience with Dumbledore's tendency to refuse information. He set the book aside, his thoughts once again settling onto that black stain that was his lie by omission. Should he tell her now? Get the damn thing out in the open once and for all so he'd be free of it? Could Lily handle it now that they were both aware of their feelings and this rare bond that existed between them? Could they survive it, or would it rip them apart like his mistake of uttering that one deplorable word when they were teenagers?

For a moment, he was about to speak, but then he remembered that the bond could be buried and ignored. Would he be able survive with this unbreakable bond with Lily if she turned her back on him for a second time?

Lily sat only a short distance from him, unaware of the war that was raging inside of him. He decided against telling her, at least for now. She had only been aware of this bond for a few hours, and he, even less than that. He decided to savour the fulfillment of his deepest desire for a while before crossing that bridge.


	19. Chapter 19 – The Fall of Two Worlds

**Chapter 19 – The Fall of Two Worlds**

Snape woke up a few days later on the morning of April 16th to the blinding burn of the Dark Mark. He winced sharply, having grown complacent in the fact that it hadn't burned in a month.

Lily stirred beside him, sleep clouding her vision. She sat up, yawning. 'What's wrong?'

He held out his arm. His forearm had become a dangerous shade of scarlet. For the first time, he actually wanted to answer it, though only to find out what Voldemort was up to. But he knew the risk was too great. Voldemort had told him to stay here, and although he was glad he hadn't heard from him since the night in November in the Riddle Manor, his absence of contact felt somehow wrong.

'Should we tell Dumbledore?' Lily asked.

Snape nodded. 'Yes. But I'll go. You stay here.'

Lily frowned slightly.

'I'll be right back, don't worry,' he said as he quickly dressed and swept from the room.

As Snape approached Dumbledore's office, he began to feel unpleasantly warm, and then he remembered that he basically knew the general details of his relationship with Lily. _Meddlesome old man_, Snape thought.

He knocked on the door. From within, he heard Dumbledore's voice say, 'Come in'.

Opening the door, he stepped into his office. It was filled with the brilliant streams of the morning sun. Dumbledore looked his cheery self despite the early hour.

'Severus, what a surprise!' he said, as though he was welcoming home a son he hadn't seen in a long time.

'Good morning, Headmaster,' Snape said. 'The Mark has burned.'

The smile quickly faded from the old man's face. He pulled out his watch with the twelve hands and studied it. 'A month,' he said at last.

'Yes,' confirmed Snape. 'What has the Order been doing? Have they found anything?'

'No, it's almost as though Voldemort and the Death Eaters vanished off the face of the earth. But alas, your Mark suggests otherwise,' Dumbledore said grimly. 'But the Order and the Aurors have been refining a variety of spells, and they have put up a mosaic of Dark Mark detectors around the Ministry and many other places as well. I think it's safe to say the Ministry is virtually impenetrable to Dark wizards and Voldemort's influence.'

Snape nodded, and while he hoped Dumbledore was right, he couldn't shake the possibility that he was underestimating Voldemort.

Dumbledore walked over to the window, casting the floor behind him in a Dumbledore-shaped shadow. 'Have you told her yet?' he asked quietly.

Snape held his breath. 'No.'

Dumbledore did not respond, but continued to stare out the window.

Snape broke the silence. 'Dumbledore, there is one thing I still don't understand. After her family was attacked, you told me that because the terms of the prophecy were not fulfilled – and since her son is dead, they cannot be – the prophecy is now void. But you also said that Lily's desire for revenge was now the Dark Lord's greatest danger. I don't understand that.'

'Yes, that's what I said. But now, reflecting upon the time that has passed, it seems that I was wrong… at least partially,' he replied.

'So what is his danger?' Snape asked.

'Lily is still his danger. They reason _why_ she is his danger is what has changed.'

Snape narrowed his eyes. 'I still don't understand.'

'I don't expect you to,' Dumbledore said. He turned to face Snape, a smile playing on his features. 'But in light of what has happened this morning –' he motioned to Snape's left arm '– I fear Voldemort is preparing to strike, and I think it's time that Lily be made aware of your part in the unfortunate events of last Halloween.'

Snape's body stiffened. 'Dumbledore, we've only recently come to a point –'

'– I am well aware of the immense hurdles you and Lily have had to overcome to become what you have become to each other. But no matter how you look at it, there is one that remains. I do not underestimate the gravity of this particular obstacle, but you've got to make a choice, Severus. What is right and what is easy are rarely the same thing, and the results can mean the difference between life and death.'

Snape still had no idea why he was pushing this issue so hard. Finally, after a long and tense moment, Snape said, 'You are a mystery that will never be solved, Dumbledore. But I trust you. I just hope you are right that this is the right thing to do. Because it certainly will not be easy.'

He smiled. 'When you've been around as long as I have, you learn a few things about how innate magic works.'

Dumbledore winked, his bright blue eyes shimmering in the light. 'I will contact the Order and tell them about the Mark burning. And I'll let you know if anything else happens.'

Snape nodded and left. While his destination was the dungeons, he somehow hoped he would never reach them. He didn't want do this. Not now. Not ever. The trek back to the dungeons seemed painfully short in light of the task ahead of him.

He found Lily leaning against the corner of his desk, waiting for him to return. However, Snape looked sick and even whiter than normal.

Lily stood up straight. 'Are you all right?'

Snape shook his head.

Lily began to look scared. 'Severus, what's wrong?' she asked.

Snape inhaled sharply. 'You may want to sit down, Lily.'

For a long moment, she stared at him, but he wouldn't meet her eyes. Finally, she sat down on the chair in front of his desk. 'What's going on?'

Snape couldn't bear to look at her. He crossed one arm in front of his chest, and brought the other one to his forehead. 'You remember, back in the winter after we argued about Potter and Black, that I said I would forgive you for walking away from our friendship on the condition that I would need your forgiveness one day?'

'Yes,' she said, still looking uneasy.

'Well, it seems the time has come to tell you why. But before I do, I want you to know that I don't expect you to forgive me. I'm terrified, Lily. You have no idea,' Snape said, his voice beginning to shake.

'What could possibly be that bad, Sev?'

Snape didn't answer. He didn't say anything. He could only stand still, holding on to what he was sure were his last moments with Lily.

'Tell me, Severus,' Lily said. 'You know you can tell me anything.'

Snape took a deep breath in attempt to calm down. This was it. The moment of truth. Plain, ugly, horrible truth.

'I overheard Trelawney when she made the prophecy,' he began. 'I only heard the first part of it before I was caught, and I went straight to the Dark Lord with it.' Tears began to stream down his face. 'It's my fault, Lily. All my fault.'

Lily said nothing, and even though he didn't want to see the pain in her eyes and the disgust on her face, he looked to her. She seemed to gave gone numb. Tears were falling from her eyes, running along her cheeks, but her expression was frozen in disbelief.

'I tried to fix my mistake, Lily. I went to Dumbledore. I turned against the Dark Lord the moment I knew you and your family were in danger. I hate myself, Lily. I hate myself for what I've done to you.' Snape was shaking as he spoke.

Her silence was worse than any amount of yelling and screaming. Eventually she looked right at him, her eyes piercing his so deeply it was almost painful. She was eerily calm. 'You kept this from me. You let me fall in love with you, and all the while this was hidden inside of you.' Her chin began to tremble. 'How could you do that?'

'I couldn't bear to hurt you anymore, Lily. It seems to be the only thing I do, is hurt you, and I never meant to. Ever.'

He wanted to go to her, to hold her, to say anything that could undo what he had just done.

'Lily, I'm so sorry.'

Lily shook her head. 'My husband and my son are dead. Because of _you_.' Snape could sense the anger in her voice, and it cut through him like a sharp and hot blade. He wanted to find Voldemort, to make him suffer, to cut his body into a million little pieces but never let him completely die. He wanted him to feel the pain that Lily felt – that he felt – and Snape was infuriated that Voldemort would never feel anything like this because his soul had been destroyed. He was barely human anymore.

Lily stood up and hurried to the door. Snape ran after her. 'Where are you –?'

'Don't follow me,' she cut across him. Snape stopped in his tracks. They stood only feet apart, but the distance felt infinite.

'Where are you going?' he asked again.

'I don't know,' she said. 'But wherever I end up, I don't want you there.'

And with that, she left Snape's office. He listened as her sobs resounded down the empty corridor and her footsteps faded.

Snape couldn't contain his anger at himself and at Voldemort any longer, and within moments, his entire office was destroyed and he had collapsed on the floor, drowning in a torrent of emotion and a flood of tears that wouldn't stop.

--

After Snape had picked himself up off the floor, he posted a message on his door that all of that day's lessons had been cancelled and set off in search of Dumbledore.

He was not in his office, and as Snape passed through the halls, many of the students stared at him. He was a mess, and the usual collected professor was seriously out of character, and it was hard not to notice. But Snape didn't care. Nothing mattered right now. Only Lily.

Eventually, he found Dumbledore, who was running through the Entrance Hall. He spotted Snape.

'Severus!' he gasped, out of breath from running. He looked frightened. 'Severus. I've just heard. The Ministry has been seized by Voldemort.'

'What? But I thought you said –?'

'I'll explain later,' he said. 'But I think there's something else you need to know.'

_How could this be any worse than what has already happened today?_ Snape thought. 'What is it?' he asked.

'Lily's been captured by Death Eaters.'

Snape had to fight to keep from passing out. Surely he hadn't heard correctly.

'Lily's been captured?' he said, fighting to keep from being sick. 'Where is she?'

'She went into Hogsmeade and she was attacked,' Dumbledore explained. 'I don't know where they took her. I imagine to the Ministry. Hawkesworth and a few other Order members said that Voldemort and most of the Death Eaters are there.'

Snape couldn't believe it. If only he had kept his mouth shut, she never would have wandered beyond the castle's safety. She couldn't die, not like this. Not after they had been divided again by one of his mistakes.

'I've got to find her.' Snape began running to the door, but Dumbledore grabbed his arm.

'Severus, don't be a fool. You'll risk –'

'I don't care about what happens to me. He's already hurt her enough. And you can't stop me.' Snape wrenched his arm away from Dumbledore and left the castle, sprinted down the drive, and Disapparated.

Within moments he appeared on a street in London where the remnants of chaos remained from a struggle that had occurred not much earlier. He ran to find the entrance amid the destruction, unsure of what hell awaited him within these walls.


	20. Chapter 20 – The Upper Hand

**Chapter 20 – The Upper Hand**

Snape stepped out of the daylight and was instantly met by darkness. Though he knew he was in the vast foyer of the Ministry of Magic, he could have been trapped in the caretaker's supply closet.

He didn't dare use his wand, but within moments torches all around the foyer burst into flame, flooding the hall with light.

Snape scanned the area, and was shocked by the devastation. Shredded paper was everywhere; parts of the walls were completely blown away by deflected spells. A number of people were lying on the floor, and Snape hoped they were only unconscious. The elevator shafts had been shattered, the broken glass littering the floor, making it glitter like stars.

But his eyes were immediately drawn to a large marble platform that had been erected at the far end of the foyer, and he felt his stomach drop. Lily was bound to a metal pole with thick ropes, her head slumped over. She wasn't moving.

Snape took a step forward and a high, hissing laughter pressed itself all around him, causing his skin to crawl. The tall figure of Lord Voldemort emerged from the shadows, his pale inhuman face standing in stark contrast to the black marble walls.

'I've been expecting you, Severus.'

Snape froze. Expecting him? But had he not told him not to leave Hogwarts? It had been so long since he had to hide his true self from Voldemort that he nearly let his guard fall. Snape willed himself to feel nothing, but it had never been more difficult.

'My Lord, forgive me for abandoning my post. I was most pleased to learn that you had seized power of the Ministry, and I wanted to come and witness you in your finest hour.'

'You are obsequious to the point of transparency, Severus,' Voldemort hissed. 'I have something of yours.' He pointed his wand at Lily, who immediately stirred. She lifted her head and looked right at Snape, her eyes filled with surprise and terror. She was gagged, and only partial sobs escaped from the fabric in her mouth.

'She means nothing to me, my Lord,' he said blankly, hating himself more than ever. 'As I said long ago, I desired her. Nothing more.' He couldn't even bear to look at Lily now, but he was trying to get them out alive, and if he had to say these terrible things, then that was all he could do.

'If that's so, then why have you come here? I told you not to leave Hogwarts, and you did as I asked until I captured the Mudblood.'

_What is going on?_ Thought Snape. Had he somehow lost his ability to perform Occlumency against him?

'My Lord,' he began again, struggling to remain calm. 'I beg you, please forgive me for leaving. What you have entrusted to me is safe, and my absence will not jeopardize that. I am here because I desired to see you in your finest hour –'

'I heard you the first time,' he hissed. His red eyes narrowed in anger. _'And it is a lie.'_

'I assure you, it is not.'

'Tell me, Severus,' he said, strolling along the floor amid the debris. 'What have you been doing for the past five and a half months?'

'I have remained at Hogwarts on your orders as the guardian of your six objects,' said Snape, his tone expressionless.

'Perhaps you have,' he said dismissively. 'But I have reason to believe you've been up to something else. Something, quite frankly, that I suspected from the moment you asked me to spare this worthless Mudblood's life.'

Snape swallowed hard. Something was terribly wrong.

'Severus, we are both men,' Voldemort said. 'We both crave certain company from time to time. But to those who are truly committed to me, and to my objectives of Mudblood enslavement and eventual extermination, whose company we keep is of no consequence. But it will _never_ be that of a Mudblood. Love is the disease of the weak, the affliction of those who have no true reason to live,' he said, as though even saying the word 'love' left a bitter taste in his mouth. 'You, whom I once believed to be my most worthy, my most faithful, have fallen victim to this curse as sure as I stand here.'

Snape's mind was reeling. 'My Lord, I was under the impression I had your full confidence. I have stayed at Hogwarts as guardian over –'

'I lulled you into a false sense of security, Severus!' he spat. 'I gave you identical, useless replicas of my objects and spun you the task of guarding them to keep you out of my way! If, as I feared, you had renounced your commitment to me, I needed to keep you from learning of my plans. With you around, I was risking you running to that old fool of a Headmaster like a scorned schoolboy. But I decided against killing you, simply because you delivered to me the prophecy that has eliminated a very important obstacle from my path, and if I was wrong about your betrayal, I would have lost the best jewel in my crown of Death Eaters.'

Snape's heart sank. He had been fooled. He had not been given the Horcruxes at all.

'You were not careful, were you? Many of my followers have children who attend your school, and slowly rumours got back to me, and I knew the truth at last. For such betrayal, death is too swift a punishment. There must be suffering first, and then death. You have written your own end, Severus, by coming here, and the end of this insipid and foolish girl.'

Voldemort raised his wand and Lily screamed. A long and deep gash appeared on her cheek, and another across the front of her chest. Her screams rang out through the empty room, echoing sharply in his mind, clawing at his heart. Blood began to pour from her wounds. Even though his heart screamed for him to go to her, he couldn't move. It would only make things worse. He had to distract him. But how?

But before Snape had to come up with something, Voldemort stopped and walked away from Lily, leaving her sobbing.

'You were foolish to turn from me, Severus. You can't beat me. Not even the entire Ministry of Magic could beat me in the end. They tried, they put up a good fight, but they, too, are weak, and their understanding of magic is so shamefully incomplete that we easily broke though all their barriers.'

For once, Snape was glad that Voldemort always had to go on at great length. It gave him time to think.

'You may have noticed, Severus, that for a month the Mark did not burn,' he said, obviously so immersed in his own superiority that he felt the need to boast about it. 'We have all been in hiding, except one, who stayed behind in Hogsmeade on the lookout for Lily Potter should she ever wander away from you. He delivered her to me, only hours ago, when she finally strayed from your reach.' Voldemort sneered, continuing to pace. Snape remained frozen in place by his own shock and anger and fear.

'We have been brewing Polyjuice Potion. This morning, we kidnapped a number of Ministry officials on their way to work and before anyone even knew they were missing, and we arrived here, with nothing amiss to the untrained eye.' He stood, tall and important-looking, as he spoke. 'There was only one complication that I had not foreseen. There were very powerful enchantments placed on this building to impede our entrance. However, since my followers had transformed into bodies that did not bear the Mark, I assumed we could slip in undetected. Alas, I was wrong. The first few to pass through the protections were apprehended, as they still set off the alarms, but the more Death Eaters who crossed the barrier, the weaker they became, and eventually, they stopped working. Turns out my Mark is not only seared onto the skin, but into the very souls of those who bear it.' He stopped pacing and looked to Snape. 'Some things run too deep to be destroyed, Severus. They couldn't beat me, even with all their pathetic attempts, and neither can you.'

Voldemort made a swift movement with his wand around his own left arm, and then pressed the tip forcefully into his ghostly white skin. Suddenly, Snape's Mark burned more intensely than ever, but it didn't stop there. The pain spread quickly to every inch of his skin, and every nerve in his entire body felt like it had erupted in flames.

Snape screamed and fell to his knees. He heard Voldemort's raw and evil laughter, but it seemed so far from him. The pain was all he could think of.

After a moment that seemed to drag on forever, the pain lifted, but he still felt as though he had just been skinned alive. He braced himself on the floor, breathing heavily. Lily began screaming again. Snape didn't know how much more he could take. His own life didn't matter to him anymore, all he wanted was to save Lily from the monster that stood a short distance from her, torturing her with a look of sick pleasure on his face.

'Stop,' Snape said, struggling to his feet.

Voldemort looked to him, and ignored Lily, who was still screaming, her face and her clothes stained in crimson.

'Leave her alone.'

'You are even more foolish than I ever imagined,' hissed Voldemort. 'You could have had everything. Honour. Wealth. Comfort. All the women you could ever want. _Immortality._ And you have thrown it away for nothing!'

'I haven't thrown anything away, Riddle,' Snape said, unable to control his contempt and hatred.

Voldemort's face contorted into a terrifying grimace.

'Just for that, you can have the honour to watching her die. And then you'll be next. I'll make an example of you yet, _Snape._ An example to all the fools to believe that love is the only thing worth living for.'

Voldemort rounded on Lily and raised his wand. Her eyes were wide and filled with fright. She was screaming for Snape, but the gag muffled her words. Snape withdrew his wand amazingly fast in attempt to disarm him, but Voldemort turned back to Snape and slashed his hand. He dropped his wand and scrambled to get it.

Snape heard the first word of the Unforgivable form on his twisted lips. Lily was screaming harder than ever, tears streaming down her bloody cheeks, her eyes darting from Voldemort to Snape, and Snape was helpless to save her.

Suddenly, nearly fifty people emerged from the Floo network. Dumbledore had appeared first and attempted to disarm Voldemort. While the wand didn't soar from his hand, it wiggled, and distracted him from completing the incantation.

Snape felt an unimaginable surge of gratitude for Dumbledore. Voldemort turned to face the new arrivals. His gaze found Dumbledore, a look of unease drawing itself on his snakelike features.

Neither of them exchanged words, and within seconds Dumbledore and Voldemort were locked in battle, the spells from their wands connected. From nowhere, a small army of Death Eaters appeared and began to battle with the members of the Order and the Aurors.

Spells were being fired in every direction. Snape picked up his wand and crawled along the floor, trying to avoid being hit. The glass on the floor was cutting into his hands and knees, but he didn't care. Eventually he made his way to Lily, who was still hopelessly tied to the metal pole.

Amid the chaos, she hadn't seen him coming for her. His head appeared over the edge of the platform to her left. Her eyes widened with hope.

He ran behind the platform, cut the robes binding her with his wand, and helped her down. In the chaos happening all around them, no one noticed what he had done.

Crouching low, they ran along the back wall and into the first room in the empty hallway, which happened to be a bathroom. Snape closed the door behind him and sealed it against intruders. Lily collapsed to the floor and Snape sunk down beside her, painfully aware of the deep cuts on the palms of his hands and his knees. His skin still stung from the overkill burn of the Mark.

Lily was shaking. She threw her arms around Snape and gave way to uncontrollable sobs. Snape held on to her as she released both her fear of having been a breath away from death and her relief of having been saved. Together they sat on the floor, the sounds of the battle going on just outside the walls drowning out their sobs. She drew back, only slightly, and pressed her trembling hands to both sides of his face. They both looked terrible, but to each other, they were the most beautiful sight in the world.

'You came,' she said.

'Of course I came,' Snape said.

She smiled. 'I love you so much,' Lily said, pressing her lips to his, but she broke down again. After a few moments, she wiped her eyes.

'What are we going to do?' she asked, her voice distorted by emotion.

'I don't know,' Snape said. 'People are going to die out there. But what can two people do?'

As soon as he said the words, he knew what had to be done. He stroked her hair, much of which had become matted by blood.

'Lily,' he said slowly, 'we have to do the Protego Amorus.'

They sat in silence for a moment, both contemplating he gravity of what he had said. Screams and explosions rang out nearby.

'Do you think it will work?' Lily said. 'As long as we stay here, we'll be fine,' she said.

Snape's mind drifted back to all the things that Dumbledore had said, but had never made sense – that Lily was still Voldemort's greatest danger, but that the reason had changed. It wasn't her need for revenge that was the danger, it was the fact that she and Snape had found love, and had become soul-bonded. The fact that Dumbledore had highlighted only the 'Protego Amorus' chapter in the book, two lines of which surfaced in his memory at that moment. _The Protego Amorus, commonly known as the Lover's Shield, is a spell that is placed upon two people in a moment when their lives are in danger… but it is theorized that the pair must be soul-bonded for the spell to be successful… _

Snape felt a surge of purpose course through him.Finally, it all made sense.'We have to do it, Lily, but not for us. If I'm right, this will work.'

'What are you talking about? Right about what?' Lily asked.

'We have to place the shield upon ourselves and let him take a shot at us. Dumbledore gave you that book with that highlighted chapter because he knew something like this would happen. I think Dumbledore believes that love can destroy him.'

'But what about the Horcruxes? They were fakes. He'll still be able to come back,' Lily said.

'Yes,' Snape said bitterly, 'but this is a start. What do you say?'

Lily gazed to him and slowly nodded.

He smiled. 'Get your wand.'

They both stood up and drew their wands. 'Clasp right hands,' he said. Dirty and bloody, they joined hands. 'Do you remember the four conditions?' he asked.

'Mutual trust,' she said. 'Unconditional love, acceptance of mortality, and to face the danger unarmed. And, of course, to be soul-bonded.'

Snape nodded his head. 'Do you accept these conditions?'

'Yes,' she said. 'Do you?'

'Yes.' Snape replied. 'On the count of three, then.' said Snape, taking a deep breath. 'One. Two. Three.'

_'Protego Amorus!_' They said in unison.

A thick, long, silvery shimmering strand of something that looked like a memory curled out of their wands. The strands twisted together like a silver snake, which began to encircle Lily and Snape. The strands grew longer and longer as they continued to pour forth from their wands, encasing them in a glowing cocoon. After a minute, the strands broke away from their wands, and the silver bands pressed themselves into Snape and Lily and disappeared, almost as though they had been absorbed by their skin. It felt cool and pleasant against his skin, but Snape felt different inside, as though he had always been asleep before today, and finally, he was truly awake.

They drew each other close, kissed one final time, dropped their wands to the floor, and opened the door.


	21. Chapter 21 – Protego Amorus

**Chapter 21 – Protego Amorus**

As Snape and Lily emerged from the bathroom and into the hall, they were not afraid. Whether it was a side effect of the spell or not, they weren't sure.

Within moments, they were met with the devastation of the past ten minutes. Voldemort and Dumbledore, whose face glistened with sweat, were still in battle, but only half as many Death Eaters and Aurors and Order members were left. Several were dead, their bodies cluttering the floor, cast away like empty shells. Others were badly injured, unable to continue fighting, and had moved themselves off to one side. The walls had sustained severe damage, and there was blood everywhere.

'Stop!' Snape yelled.

Much to his surprise, the word had burst forth from him, but even more surprising was to see the order carried out. Everyone stopped. All eyes fell on them.

Voldemort turned to face them. Snape winked at Dumbledore, who seemed to understand what he meant.

'No one is to touch them,' Voldemort said. 'They are mine.'

All the Death Eaters backed off, but everyone else seemed to get into position to continue fighting at a moment's notice.

Snape and Lily walked through the crowd, side by side, the shards of glass and broken marble crunching beneath their feet. Snape caught sight of Lucius Malfoy, who curled his nose at him in distaste.

They came to a stop a short distance from Voldemort.

'Did you rescue the Mudblood, Severus, and run off and hide so you could say goodbye?' Voldemort taunted, walking in circles around them. 'Or were you just too cowardly to fight? Has _love _brought you back here, so you can humiliate yourself one last time before you meet death? The ultimate weakness? The ultimate humiliation?'

'I am not afraid of death,' said Snape calmly.

'The ultimate lie,' he hissed impatiently. 'Come on, then. Draw your wand! Defend what's left of your dignity before I rip it from you.'

'I am not going to fight,' Snape said smoothly.

Voldemort narrowed his eyes at him, and stepped in close to Snape. 'You are a fool and a coward right to the end, Severus. A shame, really, I use to see so much of myself in you. Worthless Muggle fathers, weak magical mothers, and neglected by the very people whose job it was to care for us.'

'I am _nothing_ like you,' said Snape with such force and conviction that Voldemort took a step back.

'You're right, it appears you are too weak to dare to walk in my shadow, to dare to reach for all the things we have been denied that can now be ours.'

Voldemort circled them one last time before walking away, and turning to face them. The onlookers were quiet, all tense as they watched the exchange unfold.

'Since you have chosen the coward's path, do you have any last words?' Voldemort jeered.

'Yes, as a matter of fact, I do,' said Snape, and he spoke, his voice dripping with hatred for the demon that stood before him. 'I hope that death is all you fear it is. And even more.'

Voldemort's eyes seemed on fire with rage. His lips curled as he raised his wand, pointing it directly at them. The crowd drew a collective breath as Lily and Snape embraced each other, closing their eyes, and Voldemort screamed the curse. A bright green light shot from the end of his wand, but neither of them felt it. All they heard was an ungodly scream of pain that continued to echo long after they had heard the lifeless body of Tom Riddle hit the floor.

Lily and Snape did not move from their spot, nor did they let go of each other. For a long moment, they listened as the last of the Aurors and Order subdued the remaining Death Eaters. Snape didn't know where they had gone once silence had fallen upon them, nor did he really care. Slowly, he and Lily drew apart, their eyes meeting. They had both been crying as they had stood there, but now, they only smiled.

Dumbledore had been standing some distance off, waiting for them to pull away from each other. When they did, he approached them. They heard him coming, and they smiled to him.

'Unbelievable!' Dumbledore said, his blue eyes glistening with tears. 'There are no words!' Dumbledore had a long gash on his forehead and his robes were ripped in places.

All three of them stood only feet from Voldemort's lifeless body.

'I cannot tell you how proud I am of both of you. What you displayed here has never been done before.'

'As much of a relief as this all is, I don't think we should congratulate ourselves too soon,' Snape said. 'The Horcruxes are still intact. The ones we destroyed were fakes.'

'Well, don't concern yourselves too heavily with it. With all the Death Eaters on their way to serving life sentences in Azkaban, there will be no one to perform the Rebirthing. I will inform the Order and the Aurors about it, and we will track them down. In the meantime, breathe easy. Take a week off, too. Paid, of course. You deserve it. I'll write to Horace and see if he'll come in for a week.'

'Thank you,' Snape said.

Dumbledore patted them both on the back before heading off to the exit.

'One more thing,' Snape said. 'Did you always know that Voldemort could be defeated by the Protego Amorus?'

Dumbledore smiled. 'I guessed,' he said. 'It appears I guessed correctly.' His eyes fell to Voldemort's body. So did Lily's and Snape's.

'Why couldn't you have just told us?' asked Snape

Dumbledore shook his head. 'There are some things that can only be learned on one's own. Enjoy your week off.'

And with that, Dumbledore disappeared.

With one final look at Voldemort's body, Snape and Lily went back and retrieved their wands from the bathroom floor and, both wounded but thoroughly relieved, made their way to the exit and stepped into the welcoming kiss of a brilliant afternoon sun.


	22. Chapter 22 – Summer Surprises

**Chapter 22 – Summer Surprises**

Lily and Snape were sitting in the drawing room of his home on Spinner's End. Classes had ended for that year, and Lily's wounds had finally healed from her second encounter with Voldemort, thanks to Snape's ability to work miracles with the Sectumsempra counter-curse.

The sun had set, and the dark and cramped room was flooded in candlelight.

'There's still one thing I don't understand,' Lily said. 'If those Horcruxes were fake, why did they scream when we dipped them into the potion?'

'I asked Dumbledore about that,' Snape replied. 'He said that Voldemort must have placed some kind of enchantment on them to make them seem as real as possible.'

Snape was no longer uneasy about calling him Voldemort anymore, for he had not escaped death, as he name suggested, nor was he lord of anything. He had nothing to fear.

'I was talking to Dumbledore this morning,' said Lily, who had forgotten to tell Snape about it due to her hectic day. 'Sirius is being released!' she announced happily.

Snape, on the other hand, couldn't share in her joy. He simply nodded his head, almost imperceptibly.

'Please be civil to him,' Lily implored.

'I will tolerate him, but I cannot pretend to like him,' Snape said.

Lily shrugged. 'I guess that's all I can expect. Dumbledore also said that the Aurors and the Order have tracked down two more Horcruxes!'

'Which ones this time?' Snape asked.

'They found the locket in a cave along the coast somewhere where Riddle used to go as a child, but they're having a really hard time getting it out, and they found the cup in a Gringotts vault. All the Death Eaters' vaults are being searched by order of the Ministry. They think the last two might be in a vault they haven't got to yet.'

The diary had been found in the possession of Lucius Malfoy, and Dumbledore had found the ring in an old shack near Little Hangleton where Riddle's maternal family had once lived.

Snape smiled. 'Why were you at Hogwarts anyway?' he asked.

'I needed to see Madam Pomfrey,' she said, sliding along the sofa so she was right beside Snape.

'Any particular reason?' he asked.

'Yes.'

'Which is?'

She smiled at his persistence. 'Give me your hand.'

He raised one eyebrow. 'How exactly does my hand affect the movement of your lips?'

'Give me your hand,' she repeated.

He obliged, one eyebrow still raised.

Lily placed his hand on the lower portion of her stomach, resting her hand on top of his.

She couldn't suppress a grin as she looked to him. Slowly, it dawned on him what the gesture meant. He sat up straight, his expression ranging from surprise to disbelief and pure delight.

'Really?' he asked.

Lily nodded, and Snape smiled. She leaned into him, resting her head against his chest.

The candlelight continued to dance on the walls as they sat there together. Snape ran his fingers through her long hair as he toyed with the idea that in a very short while, there would be a little version of him and Lily to brighten their lives even more.

For some reason, these thoughts sparked him to think about all they had been through in the past year, and in the entire time they had known each other. From when they would play together in the park not far from the place where they now sat, dreaming of their lives in the magical world, to all the times they had been torn apart and tested, and how they always found their way back to each other, even when it seemed that all hope had been lost.

'It turns out that Riddle was only ever right about one thing,' Snape said into the stillness of the night.

Lily sat up and looked at him, the slight frown on her face clearly expressing her astonishment at his words. 'What is that?' she asked.

He smiled as he looked into her eyes, and he saw his reflection in them. 'Some things run to deep to be destroyed.'


	23. Chapter 23 – Epilogue

**Chapter 23 – Epilogue **

It was a lovely Sunday near the end of March, and a weekend away from Hogwarts that Dumbledore had kindly granted him for the past five years. Snape sat at the kitchen table of his home on Spinner's End, making lists of things they would need once they moved into their new house in London.

'When's uncle Sirius coming?' asked Markus, his nose barely touching the top of the table where his father sat.

Snape smiled at the five-year-old version of himself. 'You aren't a very patient lad, are you?' Markus had been hounding his father since earlier that morning when he found out that Sirius would be over for a visit.

'But mommy said he was bringing a surprise,' he said, his little lip pouting as though he had been refused something he really wanted.

'Well of course he is,' said Snape, patting his knee as a sign for Markus to hop up on his lap. 'That's what birthdays are all about.'

Markus had dark eyes and hair like Snape, but, unlike his, Snape had insisted that it be kept short.

Snape heard the soft thud of footsteps, and looked up to see his daughter standing in the doorway in her special green dress, her mother in miniature.

'Daddy, when's uncle Sirius coming?' asked Melody.

Snape patted his other knee, and she came running to him. 'You two just don't give up, do you?' he said as he planted a kiss on his daughter's cheek. 'He's coming after lunch.'

'After lunch?' Markus whined, as though the two-hour wait was simply unbearable.

'Yes, and you two had better not get into it like you did last night or there will be no surprise and I'll eat all your cake,' Snape said, his tone clearly at odds with the grin on his face.

'You can't eat someone else's birthday cake, daddy,' said Melody, her expression one of both fear and disapproval.

'Yeah,' said Markus. 'It's against the law.'

Snape scoffed, still smiling. 'Against the law, is it? Well so is throwing ice cream at your sister.'

Markus narrowed his eyes at his father, not knowing whether he should believe him. 'But she said I would look like a house elf in a party hat!'

Snape couldn't help but burst out laughing at his indignant expression. No one could deny that Markus had inherited his father's forceful and sometimes sharp personality. While Snape had mellowed drastically since the birth of his twin children, the snark was alive and well in Markus. Melody smoothed out her green dress that made her eyes of the same colour seem to explode with radiance.

'Do you like my dress?' she asked Snape.

'You look beautiful,' he said, planting a second kiss on the top of her head, from which flowed long tresses of flaming red hair.

Suddenly the front door opened, and both Markus and Melody slipped from Snape's lap and ran to the front room.

Snape followed them and saw Lily carrying two paper bags full of groceries.

'That was fast,' said Snape as he took the bags from her so she could hug Melody, who had run to her and was waiting to be acknowledged. Markus, however, stood back a bit, looking disappointed.

'I thought it was Sirius,' he said as he approached Lily, who drew him into an embrace.

'Disappointed to see his own mother,' Snape said incredulously, 'That's a first.'

She scooted the kids away and they disappeared down the hall, Markus chasing Melody all the way.

Lily kissed Snape, and even now, after a million kisses, she could still make him feel lightheaded. They both headed to the kitchen to prepare lunch and get dinner underway.

Both were excellent cooks, as their talents with Potions crossed over well. By the time they had eaten lunch and Lily had put the roast in to cook, they heard the front door open for a second time, and two over-excited children began screaming with delight.

Snape still hadn't gotten over all the animosity that had existed between them, but Sirius and the kids had formed an instant connection the first time they had met, and he wasn't about to deny his children something that made them so happy. Though Snape fought it for a long time, Lily had insisted that Sirius be made their godfather. Eventually, Snape conceded, realizing that it was pointless to upset Lily over something that was so important to her. After all, he had been godfather to her first son, whom he had loved as his own. And if Lily and the kids were happy, he was happy.

Lily wiped her hands on a cloth and went into the front room to greet him, and Snape followed a moment later.

He stood back a bit, watching Markus and Melody maul him, but Sirius, who had kneeled down on the floor, seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

His smile faded a little when he caught sight of Snape standing in the doorway. He nodded his head and said, 'Good afternoon.'

Snape nodded in return. 'Good afternoon.'

Sirius stood up, and then stooped to pick up Melody. Markus, however, was eyeing the presents Sirius had brought with him.

'Oh no you don't,' said Lily, pointing her wand at the overlong boxes and Vanishing them to the hallway closet. 'Not until after supper.'

Markus frowned slightly, but seemed to forget about them rather quickly.

'What do you kids say to going to the park?' Sirius asked them.

Loud shouts of approval and excitement erupted from the two of them as they jumped up and down.

Sirius opened the front door and the kids ran out. He turned to Lily and Snape and said, 'I'll see if I can wear them out a little.'

Lily smiled and said, 'Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.'

Sirius went off after Markus and Melody, closing the door behind him, leaving Snape and Lily in a peacefulness they had not known in a long time.

Lily turned to Snape, wrapping her arms around him. 'How long do you think they'll be gone?' she asked, a devilish grin spreading across her face.

Snape kissed her, and then said, 'Hopefully long enough.'

--

After they had finished eating and opening the presents, they all went outside to the backyard so Markus and Melody could ride around on their new miniature brooms, though not before Snape had cast boundary spells around the yard so they couldn't fly away.

Lily had, at one point, gone to help Melody after she had fallen off, leaving Snape and Sirius sitting together on the back step.

For a few long moments, they sat in a stiff silence. Then, Sirius said, 'They've grown since the last time I was here.'

Snape nodded in agreement, his attention focused on Lily as she helped Melody.

Sirius cleared his throat before continuing. 'Thank you for letting me see them. They mean the world to me.'

Sirius's sincerity made Snape feel less tense. 'I suppose I should thank you for not rejecting Markus for being so much like me.'

'It's not his fault,' Sirius said, smiling a little, momentarily slipping into his former teenage habit. 'I get quite a kick out of him myself. I love them both to death.'

Snape smiled in spite of himself, though Sirius could not see it because of the way they were sitting. 'It seems that after all these years, we finally have something in common.'


End file.
